“Wood you please go away?”

Films: Alien Apocalypse (2005)

Alias: None

Type: Alien

Location: Civilized Area/Forest

Height/Weight: Slightly larger than that of an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: And now for another exciting episode of "successful alien invasions that should have been nowhere near as successful as they were". Starring Bruce Campbell because of course. Also, some hideous termite aliens.

History: Coming to Earth to harvest our wood, these aliens used special EMP bombs to disable our weaponry, leaving us wide open for invasion. Sure enough, the humans who aren't slaves now are the dead, bounty hunters in league with the aliens, and a few astronauts who arrived late to the party. Now, it's up to them and the president to retake Earth from these insectoid menaces.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: At long last, a human rebellion is launched, and while it at first starts off a bit rocky, the president arrives on time to turn it in our favor. From that moment forward, the astronaut's leader goes on to inspire the masses to turn on the aliens, with him going down in legend as The Great Exterminator. That's uh...not going to look good on a resume in case a more benevolent race comes around.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3-What these aliens lack in convincing effects they make up for in creepiness. Their voices sound like robots, they would make anyone afraid of bugs cringe, and they also have those nasty teeth-filled hidden mouths for biting your head off. A shame they went down so easily when they didn't have their bombs to fall back on.

Trivia: -Due to most of the cast of this film speaking primarily Bulgarian (it was shot in that country), the end result was mostly dubbed over in post-production.

-This film was also known rather unflatteringly as "Humans in Chains".


Image Gallery


One man. One movie to save.

"Poke! Poke, poke!"
Three stars in search of an exit.

Japan! Quit giving them ideas to rip off movies!
Sometimes, you just gotta admit you overshot your chances.

Still no different from the AAA Video Game industry.

"Our coconut guns fire in spurts!"

This Starcraft expansion pack isn't doing it for me.
"Come on and SLAM...again!"

"Have you no respect for the dead?!"



Trailer(s)