“The vampires are spacing out”

Films: Dracula 3000 (2004)

Alias: Count Orlok

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area/Eldritch location

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: Dracu-wait...THIS ISN'T DRACULA?! WHAT THE HELL?! WHEN I SEE THE A FILM WITH DRACULA IN THE TITLE, I EXPECT-ah, what the heck. It looks like him at least. So close to Drac in space...

History: Aboard the Demeter, a large spaceship, a crew consisting of the names of a few characters from Bram Stoker's original story have become stranded in the far reaches. Worse, it turns out that they've been carrying some supernatural cargo. For some reason, there are several coffins in the room, and one of them contains the very much active Count Orlok (again, not f*cking Dracula). As one might guess, the first vampire conversion happens to Coolio, and it all goes downhill form there as Orlok schemes to get back to Earth...

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: All of Orlok's minions are dispatched through standard vampire weaknesses, while he's locked up after getting his arm chopped off. Orlok can only scream in rage and pain as the Demeter collides with a binary star.

Powers/Abilities: Conversion and immortality.

Weakness: Standard vampire weaknesses, like stakes.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-They may still be bloodthirsty vampires, but we just cannot take Orlok seriously at all. He looks like literally every standard Halloween Dracula we've seen, and looks more like a frat boy than a vampire monarch. Vampire Coolio is more intimidating if anything.

Trivia: -Indeed, Orlok's actor, Langley Kirkwood, is less a frat boy and more a triathlete, competing many times in the South African Iron Man competition.

-Like a lot of things in this film, the Demeter's name is also derived from the original story, being the ship that gave Dracula the ability to get to England in the first place.


Image Gallery


Unless, you know, you fly near a star. Idiot.
Oh, hey! An excuse to stake him for his involvement in the Sonic movie trailer.
This should be the part where you sob helpessly from that little patch of sunlight.


Trailer(s)