“Playing fetch with love”

Films: Hellhounds (2009)

Alias: None

Type: Mystical

Location: Eldritch location/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of an average greyhounds.

Affiliation: Neutral, leaning on Evil

Summary: At this point, everyone knows that Hades' favorite pooch is the three-headed Cerberus. But what about the lesser dogs? Surely, they warrant some recognition as inhabitants of the underworld? Well, they were holding a monkey's paw this time.

History: It's a classic tale of jealousy. Theron is incensed that the lovely Demetria is getting married to his friend Kleitos. So Theron does the sensible thing, and kills her. Luckily, brave Kleitos and some others rescue her from the Underworld, but that's hardly the end. After making a deal with Hades, Theron now has control over some hellhounds out to get the two for friendzoning him. How...tragic...whatever.

Notable Kills: One kills someone while he's relieving himself. How rude!

Final Fate: Alas, Theron really should have realized that deals with dark Gods never pay off, as his connection to the hellhounds is severed, and he gets mauled by the pair. Lucky for us, the two are put down by Kleitos, while Theron gets the privilege of eternal torture from Hades himself.

Powers/Abilities: Hellhounds are masterful trackers, and can absorb wavering souls if need be.

Weakness: They remain loyal to anybody with the right mystical tools. Only if those tools are destroyed can they be free.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-Oh bad Maneater series CGI, you always let us down. If it had been any better, these underworld bloodhounds would have scored way higher. Then again, for creatures born out of the Greek Hell, they sure go down easily.

Trivia: -Hellhounds are all across European folklore. From Cerberus to barghests to the Black Shuck, big scary dogs are everywhere.

-The film's premise brings to mind the tragedy of Orpheus, a masterful flute player who went down to the Underworld to retrieve his love. The difference is that no hellhounds got involved (unless you count Cerberus), and he was unsuccessful at the last minute.


Image Gallery


Cue Hades putting up 'Lost' posters.

These black panthers are looking rather sickly-hey, wait a minute.
Should have stayed off of Satan's lawn.

"That's not a stick! Down, boy!"
Greek Bro Quest!


"All I wanted to do was sniff her. Geez!"