“One ring to rule them all...”

Films: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Alias: Sauron, the Ringwraiths (the Nazgul, the Witch King of Angmar), Orcs (Grishnakh, Sharku, Snaga, Gothmog, Gorbag, Shagrat), Uruk-Hai (Lurtz, Ugluk), Eagles of Manwe, the Watcher in the Water, trolls, Goblins of Moira, the Balrog (Durin's Bane), Gollum, Fellbeasts, Wargs, Oliphants, Ents (Treebeard, Quickbeam), Shelob, the Dead Men of Dunharrow, the Mouth of Sauron

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area/Mountains/Lake/Underground/Cave/Swamp/Forest/Desert

Height/Weight: Ranges from half that of an average human (Gollum) to that of a skyscraper (Sauron).

Affiliation: Good (Eagles, Ents, the Dead Men), Neutral (Gollum, Oliphants), Evil (the rest)

Summary: Don't even pretend to act like you don't know this tale if you're into fantasy of any kind. The backbone of almost every "mature" and epic magic story that came afterwards, this grand trilogy was the powerhouse it was due to just how huge its cast of inhuman beings were. Some good, most bad. And it all begins with a ring...

History: Long ago in the mystical lands of Middle-Earth, fallen Maia (that's an Angelic being around here) Sauron led a brutal conquest over the place with his army of vile creatures, primarily consisting of mutated elves and men known as Orcs. His trump card was The One Ring, a semi-sentient artifact of pure power that corrupts all that wear it. But Sauron made the error of putting all of his own power into it, and when it was cut off, he went kaput. But after mankind failed to destroy the ring, it became lost, and Sauron was brought back in spirit as a gigantic fiery eye held aloft by a tower over Mount Doom, the capital of the hellish landscape known as Mordor. Then a Hobbit found it, and became corrupted into the malformed Gollum. Then another Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, found it and has his own journey with it until he retired. Then the great wizard Gandalf became aware of its presence, and soon, the quest to throw that accursed ring back into Mount Doom's volcanic fire began! But Sauron's forces, he himself included, were aware, and would stop at nothing to take out the light and bring forth endless darkness...

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After three long, long, LONG movies of our heroes trying to survive Sauron's forces, it's all over when Gollum, right when our hero Frodo Baggins starts to get fully corrupted, assaults him, takes the ring, and ends up plummeting into the lava below. The ring is destroyed, and as Sauron’s tower crumbles with him, his entire forces are destroyed as well. Even before that, our heroes were cleaning up some of the worse threats, such as Gandalf finishing off the Balrog after a lengthy battle and Sam severely wounding the spider demon, Shelob.

Powers/Abilities: Sauron was invincible (in most areas), and still is for the most part. Anyone who has the ring in his/her possession cannot leave his eyesight. The Balrog comes with a flaming whip and sword in each hand. And the wraiths/ghosts are virtually immortal.

Weakness: For most creatures, anything conventional/heavy artillery. Beings like the Balrog and the wraith can only be brought down by holy weapons and/or lucky shots to the vital areas such as the heart and head. As for Sauron, he’s nothing without The One Ring, and will be destroyed for good if the ring is, due to it having his essence in it. The Witch King can also be killed by no man...so women are up for it.

Scariness Factor: 4-Not every monster is out to get you here. The Ents and the Eagles in particular are very good company to have, and pretty much solve every problem the heroes have. But then, they kind of have to, considering what they're up against. The orcs/Uruk-Hai in particular are visceral, horrible monsters who look far too real for a fantasy, and the Nazgul are near-unkillable beings who utter a panic-inducing screech as well as a horrible black speech that Sauron himself invented. But as for non-humanoid beings, the Balrog and Shelob are the worst. The former is a gargantuan demon wreathed in flame whose roars are modified VOLCANIC ERUPTIONS, while the latter is what happens when you ask Peter Jackson, a known arachnophobe, to describe his idea of what a giant spider would look like.

Trivia: -This isn't the first time the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy was adapted to film. The first two books were done in animated form in 1978 as one film by the ever-controversial Ralph Bakshi. It was supposed to be all three crammed into one, but due to Bakshi's perfectionist attitude and a lack of funds, the last one never got made. Rather, it was handed to Rankin/Bass, who had already done an adaptation of "The Hobbit".

-Peter Jackson didn't exactly have a smooth ride either. Almost every studio he went to demanded that the trilogy be only one or two films. But then he went to New Line, who were not just accepting, but insistent that there be a trilogy.


Image Gallery


Admit it. You saw this poster at some point.

Saruman and the boys.

"Sometimes, I just really hate these hoods."

Squidward's hermit cousin is less-than accomidating.

When you forget your contact lenses.

Call them the Twin Towers and...uh-oh...

"Going to carve your initials into me, eh?"

"I curse you with the Hobbit trilogy!"

Killer pupper.

Where things REALLY should have ended.

From a place built atop an ancient fan burial ground.

"Chase 'em away! Chase 'em away! I'm afraid! Need your aid! KILLER ELEPHANTS ON PARADE!"

"Uh, boss...that's no man...if you know what I mean...RETREAT!"
"IT'S TIME TO STOP!"


"Read our Naruto fanfic or die..."


"HOW DO YOU TAKE THESE PYROTECHNICS OFF?!"


Look at this face and tell me he's not going to get a big fanbase.

Babar's cousins took on a more metal route.



"Nobody feminize me in any of your video games, please."

Cue Chariots on Fire.

"Let's recruit Casper next!"
One franchise to milk dry.


"You have seen us, the NRA, without our human makeup. You must die."

Synder's Doomsday?

SHEER TERROR AND AWESOME

The power of manevolent jewelry.

Must have got hit by a train before the bog got him.

"This is the most positive reception I've gotten to arriving."

Gotta make the papers for the book somehow!


If only half of the giant spider movies here could be solved this way.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE SEEN A CERTAIN GHOST, HUMAN."

"Anybody see my contacts on the floor?"
"Hopefully, we don't have our swords fry us with connected lightning. I mean-" BZZZZT!

The racist and benevolent neighbor dynamic in fantasy form.

"What is this...mutated gamer-girl bathwater?! What is wrong with our master?!"


"Hurry this up. This whip isn't just for killing. It's for...other purposes..."


The wonders of CGI can turn this frail man into a guy that just takes EVERY bit of damage.

Witch King? Was Warlock King just not...nevermind.

We speak for the trees when we say they can wreck your stuff.

The true nexus of evil.

"Uh...don't chop the messenger?"

"EEK! A MOU-I mean HOBBIT!"

"WITH MY LAST BREATH, I CURSE THE ARCHITECT!"


Trailer(s)