“Trained snakes bring pain upon a train”

Films: Snakes on the Train (2006)

Alias: None

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of average snakes.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: Remember that film that came out in this decade? The one with the snakes and the plane and Sam Jackson? Well...we couldn't be f*cked to add that here. So how about its crazier and cheaper mockbuster instead?! Eh? Ehhh????

History: After being afflicted with a Mayan curse, a young women ends up with snakes eating their way out of her. Amazingly, she's still alive after this, and boards a train to find a shaman to cure her condition. The snakes that she spawned are kept in jars. But one attack by thieves later, and the snakes are let loose, spreading panic and death across the train.

Notable Kills: How many snakes do you know that spit green venom or burrow into people's wrists to eat them? Not many, and we're thankful for that.

Final Fate: After the snake/human massacre persists for long enough, the women ends up fully corrupted by the curse, and transforms into a gigantic snake that eats the train...right after all the survivors have escaped. Her old companion uses a sacred talisman to banish the giant snake via tornado. However, it is later shown that someone got bit and lived, ensuring that the curse could persist...

Powers/Abilities: These snakes can spit green globs of poison.

Weakness: Magical rituals, though the smaller snakes can be killed through conventional means.

Scariness Factor: 3.5-Admittingly, this film and the one it's ripping off are NOT for those who fear snakes. The amount of real ones on display here could make any of them cringe, especially when they get bloody violent with their victims. But alas, some snakes and especially that last one are done via video game-tier CGI.

Trivia: -As it turns out, the last scene featuring the giant snake coming out of nowhere was the result of the Asylum scrambling to satisfy their Japanese investors when they questioned the validity of the film's main poster featuring a giant snake eating a train.

-Also, the Asylum didn't even want to make this film, but felt like it had to after their previous project fell apart.


Image Gallery


The only thing that isn't a lie is that giant snake. Impressive.

Somebody's fapping to this, I know it.

Snake vomit?!
We're not falling for it. He's clearly chocking.

One of the White Worm's long-lost supporters?

"GAAAACK! THIS IS WHY I HATE COAAAAACK!"
If the coils don't destroy it, the teeth will.

You can practically feel the terror. No, wait. That's just boredom.

"ACK! An intruder that looks like me!"
THUNDER OF GIGANTIC CGI SERPENT!

What a cheap mov-OH DEAR GOD!

The sad fate of Thomas the upgraded train.


Trailer(s)