“Conquistadores are still the worst”

Films: Aztec Rex (2007)

Alias: Thunder Lizards

Type: Ancient

Location: Jungle/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: Twice that of elephants.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: Let's be honest here. If there is one thing the Aztecs could have backed off from, it's all the sacrificing. It did nothing to stop disasters, it made being anything less than a ruler miserable, and above all, the only creatures that could benefit didn't even exist. At least, outside of here.

History: The 16th century, and Spain is now sending forth explorers to poison-I mean, see what the land has. The ones we see have arrived off the coast of Mexico, where a group of Aztecs worship the Thunder Lizards. These beasts are actually a pair of Tyrannosaurus Rex, who are offered sacrifices every now and then, but do not refrain from eating anyone who wanders into their turf. The conquistadores may end up being what's needed to stop all of this senseless slaughter...sigh...

Notable Kills: One Spaniard gets his legs eaten off...while he's still asleep. He wakes up just so he can see the dinosaur kill him.

Final Fate: The male is taken out by the Conquistadores' weaponry, while the female gets its head reduced to bloody bone when a heart is used to lure it into an explosive gunpowder trap.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-Are they violent as all Hell? Yes. Are they big? Yes. Are they ridiculously unconvincing CGI rejects from a two-bit documentary that doesn't exist? Very much so. At least they tried.

Trivia: -It's a little amusing that the Aztecs refer to the Tyrannosaurs as Thunder Lizards, considering that in Latin, it means "Brontosaurus". But then again, killer sauropods probably wouldn't do very well, and "Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend" already exists.

-If they REALLY wanted to use a dinosaur like T-Rex in a film that takes place in South America, they should have gone with the sure thing, and used instead Giganotosaurus, one of the largest theropod dinosaurs ever discovered.


Image Gallery


As well as the savage ones.


There goes the scapegoat for the destruction of the Aztecs.
Tyrannosaurus Azteca and his dumbass cousin, Frank!

"Greetings, new worshippers! Why so angry?"
Aztec Gorgonopsid just doesn't roll off the tongue.

Nothing like a beach-side snack!
"Ahem. My property, you know."

Yes, this is a hallucination, but what if...he wanted this all along?

Next time, don't be so dependent on the kindess of strangers...and fanatical tribes.


Trailer(s)