“Gold-rush”

Films: Cowboys and Aliens (2011)

Alias: None

Type: Alien

Location: Eldritch Location/Desert

Height/Weight: Twice that of average humans.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: Long ago, a race of insanely idiotic alien giants known as the Psychlos came over to mine our world for one thing; the gold. Now, we see another race take a crack at it. And somehow, they proved to be equal parts better and dumber at it.

History: Whatever these aliens really want, it can't be good. They are the same beings who have been proven to wipe out entire worlds looking for their resources. In our case, they want the gold. All of it. They've sent scouts, and the nearby human communities already have themselves a problem when the aliens' ships and fighters come knocking on their door. Then a guy who snatched some of their tech shows up, and turns the tide…

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: The alien that cursed the man's life gets a particularly violent end when he's blasted by a shotgun into a place where some of the boiling gold can boil him alive. The rest are taken out by lots of cowboys and Apaches before the main ship is obliterated by one of the aliens that the villainous ones drove to near-extinction.

Powers/Abilities: Hidden in their torsos are an extra set of arms meant for more delicate tasks.

Weakness: Anything conventional. Aim for the soft bits inside, if you ask us.

Scariness Factor: 4-For a bunch of aliens after a now comically worthless bunch of yellow rocks, they sure know how to make an impression. Alone, they're hideous humanoid creatures with unsettling hidden arms that seem to come out of their lungs, and they can beat you to death with no reinforcements. And then there's what they do to you if you get abducted. Getting turned to ash is the part you should be looking forward to...

Trivia: -This film drove a considerable wedge in anyone's faith in then-prosperous director Jon Favreau, who then won them over again with his low-budget cult hit "Chef!", and brought back the big crowd with the 2016 version of "The Jungle Book"...only to screw it up again by directing the remake of "The Lion King". He's a very hit-or-miss guy, if you couldn't tell.

-If there's one actor's career who hasn't recovered from this film, it'd be that of Noah Ringer. Keep in mind, this was the same kid who played Aang in the infamously awful "The Last Airbender" film adaptation. We just pity the poor guy, really.


Image Gallery


A 1/24 Iron Man.

When light-shows weren't invented...and it'd still be a sign to cut and run.

It always seems that way.

Herding cattle, in a whole other way.

Not one of them, but a good sign this film is gonna be a bit more insane than usual.
50s aesthetic...that's more like it!

These ships were built with ninja tech!

"Ethics? What are those?"

"Forget Gold! WHERE'S OUR METH?!"

"Aw, crap! I'm in a fetish film!"


Trailer(s)