“Monsters Vs. Aliens”

Films: Freaks of Nature (2015)

Alias: Vampires (Petra Lane, Lorelei, Mayhew P. Keller, Milan Pinache), zombies (Ned Mosely, his whole family), the aliens (the Perfect Being), werewolves (Dag Parker)

Type: Mystical, Alien (Perfect Being)

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: Ranges from that of average humans to that of a small house.

Affiliation: Good (werewolves, most of the cast), Evil (aliens, Milan)

Summary: Imagine if there was a community of monsters, and man was the minority. Now imagine what little peace exists between those factions being broken by a disaster. Now picture just how much carnage will ensue from bad neighborly relations and the actual problem at hand.

History: In the town of Dillford, Ohio, there are humans, there are vampires, and there are zombies. All three hate each other, but nothing truly becomes of it. Then out of nowhere, aliens seeking a chemical called Tetrafluoraxipan come to abduct people in order to peacefully get them out of the way. Unfortunately, this only causes the races to accuse one another of bringing the aliens here, and a bloody war ensues. Only a human, a vampire, and a zombie stand a chance of uniting the beings together to stop the aliens from going too far.

Notable Kills: See Final Fate.

Final Fate: Milan accidentally gets impaled on a stake while fighting Dag (who turns out to be a werewolf), and the aliens, after merging into the Perfect Being, try to be peaceful, but their condescending actions/words and their butchering of the lyrics to "We Didn't Start the Fire" make the citizens turn them hostile, and in the end, they spray the Perfect Being with ammonia, reducing it to a putrid dwarf state and causing it to retreat. Dag tosses their bomb right into their mothership, destroying them and restoring peace to Dillford, the fight having gotten rid of the boundaries.

Powers/Abilities: Vampires wear special lotion/clothing to shield them from sunlight. The aliens can combine with one another to form a giant alien known as the Perfect Being if they eat from the same area. Their walkers are equipped with laser beams and teleportation devices.

Weakness: Vampires are weakened by the light, but stakes can cause them to explode into gore. The aliens can only see inorganic material, and are allergic to ammonia. Though conventional means will do just fine.

Scariness Factor: 3-Sure, the zombies look grotesque and the levels of violence all factions can inflict on one another is nothing to scoff at, but in the end, they are all human to some degree, and offer more laughs than not, especially the zombies' garbled language and funny brain withdrawal. As for the aliens, while their walkers are intimidating, their true forms are adorable, and their combined form hilariously inept at gravitas. Their weakened state is even more pitiful.

Trivia: -Yes, that is indeed the voice of Werner Herzog as the Perfect Being.

-Throughout the film, Milan is almost aggressively after the main girl of the story. Later in 2017, his actor Ed Westwick would come under fire from a number of sexual accusations. Ironic, huh?

Image Gallery


Yes. Yes, you do.

That green alien dancing meme returns again!
"Maybe I should found a house. Something to do with owls..."

The true ending of Twilight.

Awwww...how cu-

Not the weirdest Herzog's gotten.
Maybe to keep some semblance of humanity.

Oh. Nevermind.

Still better than the Chicken Little aliens.

Jacob's new look is actually an improvement.

"This is officially an intervention."