It's not too late to turn back, Gandalf! MORE recognizable characters! MOOOOORE!-Warner Bros. "Think they'll make Shrek meems of us?" "Bow before my scrotum beard!" The door to Comcast? Smokey! NO! "Ladies? I can see you shiver in the audience." Yeah, "Defining" takes on a whole new meaning here. His reaction after learning of his screen-time. We've got incredibly short-lived worm-sign! "Nope. Still in this trilogy."
"Well...we're doing this now. Bear with us, audience."
"Are you not entertained, Warner Bros?!" Run! Infowars Plants! What was in that weed this time? "Where's that sexy Shadow of Mordor version of Shelob?!" Pest control is more intense for a dragon than it is for us. "Wait, am I still in this?" The wind will never feel the same without his wingbeats. The bat-things are coming! The bat-things are coming! "Finally...release from CGI Hell..."
"And, since we're the main characters, I'm sure there's no way we'll mostly die horrible deaths!" That druggie wizard is looking far more intense. He read the script, maybe. Back in the day, when Warg vets were actually a thing. "Kuwaaaaaii...." You may scream now.
"I'm stuck in CGI Hell too!" "THOSE SCAM ARTISTS ON EBAY FOOLED ME AGAIN!" "This is fine." "You woke us up for this, Azog?!" That's actually their choir group for morale.
"Hmmm...something's burning?" Listening to Smaug's advice to step into the light, aren't you? The Console Wars, but on Middle Earth. Hindsight is 20/20, Peter Jackson. I'll let the others make the Eagle jokes for now. "The fanfics they make of you and Thorin will dwarf your understanding." "THIS IS FOR PUTTING ME INTO CGI-HELL!" "I am FIRE! I...am...DEATH." Rest in the ashes of a franchise.