“DnD done slightly right”

Films: Dudes and Dragons (2015)

Alias: The Gornak, Dolvarnog the dragon (Dolvarnoog, Noogie), the goblins (Shokdor), giant, siren

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area/Mountains/Desert/Lake/Cave

Height/Weight: Ranges from that of average humans to three times that.

Affiliation: Good (Shokdor), Neutral (Gornak, Dolvarnog, giant), Evil (the rest

Summary: A lot of the bad CGI dragon cinema from this decade and the last was lacking in a lot of self-awareness and humor. Thankfully, we have a film that at least ATTEMPTS at such. And in a way, it isn't too bad. In fact, they ended up doing a couple of things we like that have nothing to do with it being comedic.

History: In a faraway kingdom long ago, the evil sorcerer Lord Tensley has taken the princess hostage, and he’s cursed the land so that anyone who shows love will be beset by his ferocious yet horribly abused dragon, Dolvarnog. However, there tells of a savior known as the Dragon Warrior. No, it's not a big fun anthropomorphic panda, it's a loser and his band of equally reluctant travellers who will risk everything to save the princess and brave the many dangers before them. At least one of the heroes is a goblin named Shokdor. It's always nice to know that there is no purely evil race in fantasy settings, even if said race is constantly at the butt of everyone's jokes.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: At last, the Dragon Warrior makes it to the cave to confront Tensley. However, when the sorcerer tells Dolvernog to kill the creature that poisoned his heart the most, the beast instantly eats him for all the Hell he put him through. Due to the princess showing him nothing but compassion, he immediately joins the side of good. He and everyone else who lived to see the end of the quest celebrate at the castle, and the dragon carries the warrior's brother and his own beloved off to their honeymoon.

Powers/Abilities: Dolvarnog can breathe fire, the goblins smell so bad nothing will eat them, and the siren can change its female form.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-Some of the monsters are made of some very bad CGI. And sadly, that includes Dolvarnog, though even then, he's gradually revealed over the course of the film to be an incredibly pitiful soul who just wants a taste of freedom. So naturally, he's one of the most likeable bad CGI dragons we've seen across this decade. The other monsters hold up slightly more, but guys like Shokdor are more goofy than such, and the rest of the goblins are taken out rather swiftly.

Trivia: -In case you didn't notice, Dolvarnog has the exact same model as the dragons from "Dragon Hunter". This might have something to do with how they share a director, Stephen Shimek. The films even both have an orc/goblin named Shokdor.

-Originally, this film was called "Dragon Warriors" before being acquired by Momentum Pictures.

Image Gallery

The Star Wars movie they should have-wait, pose threw me off.

The lesson of never pissing off a dragon evidently didn't reach our heroes.

The terror of bad dental work.

Underwater Lindsay Lohan!

One minute, king of the sky. Next, trapped like a housefly.

This a dance-off now?

Been a long day, you know?

How to Train your Wyvern.

Escape the screensaver for a happy ending!
Yep! That dragon's got a good ass!

Where was THIS during the Battle of Winterfell?!

He's king of the realm!

"Zat was not medicine."

Who left their dog?

Bets on Dolvarnog?

Sir Sammich the Delicious' tale, everyone.

Smaug's lessers knew how to handle orcs.

"I'm not even getting hazard pay for this."

"Behold! The Trump-accepted COVID cure! Surely, this won't backfire horribly!"

Bad dog!

Goblin O-faces, everyone. You're welcome.

Raw medieval hunk!

The Lord of the Rings battles would have been won a lot sooner with him.

"...IIII have loved you for a thoooouuuusand years...love you for a thouuuusssaaand moooooorrrreee..."

"I have SEVERAL questions."

Bob Chipman?

Consider this his resignation!

So, they're wed and not the dragon? COP OUT!