"Pet one and see how many fingers you have left"

Films: Critters (1986), Critters 2: The Main Course (1988), Critters 3 (1991), Critters 4 (1992)

Alias: None

Type: Alien

Location: Eldritch location/Haunted home/Civilized area

Height/Weight: That of average hedgehogs.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: They're basically Gremlins from space. The only thing is that the Gremlins we knew just wanted to have fun. They weren't exactly keen on turning entire worlds into all-you-can-eat buffets...

History: An invasive and devious species, the Crites managed to hijack a space ship as they were being transported to a galactic prison. They picked Earth to hide as two alien bounty hunters were sent to track them down. But in that amount of time, the little beasts began to assault human settlements, eating all in their path and causing chaos and fear wherever they went.

Notable Kills: The grand Crite ball's major kill strips a guy to the bone and leaves him as little more than a twitching red skeleton.

Final Fate: The Crites have been blown up again and again usually by humans or the same bounty hunters. But their eggs always find a way to survive. At least until the 4th venture, when their species was taken out along with a spaceship in the cosmos.

Powers/Abilities: Crites are deceptively smart with their own language and a handiness with tech. They grow in size with each meal, have poisonous quills that they can shoot like darts, and they can even combine into a ball of gnashing teeth and jaws.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 4-These Tribbles from Hell are the last thing you want running around your property. More times than often, they will put their heads together to bite chunks out of you and leave the whole place a bloody warzone. Even their dark sense of humor comes at your expense.

Trivia: -The third film was the first film debut of actor Leonardo DiCaprio. Maybe there's a reason he really wanted that Oscar for a while...

-There were plans for a web series to reboot the franchise, but that has not happened, and it really shouldn't.


Image Gallery


Can't our planet have any peace?!

"They see me walkin'...they runnin'..."

Those police aliens must have taken LSD before getting here.


Imagine what would happen if he saw the E.T video game.

You just can't please some aliens.

Meat is murder in this case.

Real damage as in...an average house. Right.


That's it. Get the Death Star.

Meanwhile, somebody on Deviantart is taking this in a romantic sense.
One is bad enough. Add a few dozen more...


Who needs disguises when they already look pretty good?

Send in the Crites.


They've seen Indiana Jones and took that one scene to its logical conclusion.

Never take this guys out for the banquet. Ever.




AwwwwwwwwwaaAHHHHHHH!
Even the help that reduces your home to rubble.

Should have called in the Ginyu Force, instead.

Prepare for a world of pain, quills, and obesity.


Still think they're cute?


Eh, it suits you.

So much for the TMNT defending us.



At least you didn't use carbonite.

Poland, make sense with films already.

There's being crazy with hunger and then there's this.




Years of supporting Gerrymandering finally catch up with you.

Crites do whatever sprites can...do. Somebody send Spiderman here to punch me.

Evil, hungry, AND perverted.


Hope you get a rare heart disease.


Trailer(s)