“Misshapen misfits”

Films: Head of the Family (1996)

Alias: Myron, Wheeler, Otis, and Ernestina

Type: Natural

Location: Haunted home

Height/Weight: Ranges from that of a toddler to that of average humans.

Affiliation: Neutral (Otis), Evil (the rest)

Summary: Putting your faith in a bunch of greedy, exploitative jerks is already a bad idea. Putting it into a bunch of ugly jerks is even worse. Especially if their leader is a megalomaniacal man who's more head than body.

History: In order to get back at their criminal boss, Lance and Loretta have decided to enlist some hit men to take him and his goons out. Trouble is, they picked the Stockpools, a group of quintuplets consisting of rich head-over-body Myron, seductive yet deadly Ernestina, bug-eyed killer Wheeler, and strong yet dull witted Otis. Although the two blackmail them into killing their enemies, Myron just wants a nice body to put his intellect into so that he may take over the world.

Notable Kills: Nothing special

Final Fate: At the height of torturing the two, Myron is foiled when Otis' affections for Loretta win out over his mind control, and he rescues her after setting the house on fire. Myron himself is launched down a flight of stairs to his demise while Wheeler kills Lance before everything burns down. Otis now has the whole Stockpool fortune. It's for the best.

Powers/Abilities: Myron can control the minds of others.

Weakness: Anything conventional. The control of Myron can also be stopped by strong resolves.

Scariness Factor: 3-At first glance, the Stockpools are little more than slightly more competent thugs. But Myron is just unsettling. Aside from being pretty greedy and evil, his malformed appearance is downright awful to look at. It's a miracle he's not into sexual favors. That imagery would haunt us forever.

Trivia: -A sequel, "Bride of the Head of the Family", was planned, but it never came to be.

-Apparently, this film's visual style was inspired by both "The Munsters" and the live action Ninja Turtles movies.


Image Gallery


What if I just shoot the head?
Totally not dysfunctional here.
Reap what you sow. And there'll be plenty of sowing together here.


Trailer(s)