“Space copies Earth's homework”

Films: Evolution (2001)

Alias: None

Type: Alien

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: Grows from microscopic to that of a large building.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: Evolution is the cornerstone of all life, involving beings having millions of years to adapt to the ever-shifting environment around them. And then there's Hollywood evolution, in which it takes less than a week for things to change according to what's around them. Meet this cliché's logical extreme by way of "Ghostbusters" wannabe.

History: Arriving on a meteorite from space, these microscopic organisms were given the ability to start thriving by the heat from the impact. From there, they began to evolve according to how lifeforms did over the last more than 4 billion years. They went from microbes, to plants, to invertebrates, to arthropods, to amphibians (all failures in our atmosphere for too long), to reptiles, to mammals. All in all, it gave a bunch of losers something to fight and prove themselves with.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After the place where the impact happened is blasted by napalm, the fiery power that comes with it turns the organisms into one massive amoeba, apparently the apex of evolution. It is blown up soon afterward by having someone shoot shampoo up its rectum. We will agree never to speak of this ever again.

Powers/Abilities: The micro-organisms that came with the meteor can multiply and evolve millions of times faster than Earth beings, and can take on many forms. They are also powered by fire.

Weakness: Anything conventional, though the earlier life forms eventually expire from oxygen exposure. All aliens cannot stand selenium and whatever may contain it.

Scariness Factor: 3.5-On one hand, we have beings that take exaggerated forms of the many creatures that came before us, all of them being rather absurd and frightening in their own way. Those primates in particular look like apes out of Hell. But the CGI used to make the majority of the beasts is rather dated by modern standards, so that's a no from us.

Trivia: -The reason that the cast refers to the clearly draconic reptile as a bird is most likely because the script didn't specify what exactly the "flying alien" was, so everyone assumed it was a bird.

-Originally, this film was going to be a lot more serious, but constant rewrites turned into a comedy. The original writers were not amused with this.

Image Gallery

Thanks anyway.

It all begins so simply...

Puff the Magic Dragon's birth was darker than I remember.

Somebody get the wastebasket!
We already did. It was during 2016.

Is he stuck in a drain or something?

Hardly seems fair to pit them against each-other.
Weirdest Dullahan ever.

Get this Annoying Orange cast-member reject out before he shows his...you know.

IKEA really broke the poor thing.
Well, if you wanted to develop an anti-extraterrestrial attitude...

A parent's love can go far, even in desperation.

Yeah, we're not cleaning this up.