“Mali-boo hoo”

Films: Malibu Shark Attack (2009)

Alias: None

Type: Ancient

Location: Ocean/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: Twice that of average goblin sharks.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: If we had dollar for every time the great white was chosen for the shark in every killer shark movie, we wouldn't need jobs anymore. But then comes a film that finally bucks the trend, and while it cannot give us something with a budget, it at least provides novelty.

History: The waters near the Malibu coastline are about to rise due to an undersea earthquake. But a flood is hardly the only thing that the beachgoers have to worry about. For the eruption has awakened a horde of prehistoric goblin sharks. They're quick to notice the flooded beaches, and are about to find out what fresh man flesh tastes like...

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: Many die at the teeth of the ancient sharks, but one by one, the beasts are killed. The survivors are saved, and the ecosystem can balance itself out.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3.5-It sucks when the water is beyond where you expect it, allowing the predators to have at it when it comes to your juicy meat. It especially sucks when said predators are prehistoric sharks of the rather hideous variety. Sure, the CGI sucks, but it doesn't totally suck, so try not to get your legs bitten off while you avoid the water.

Trivia: -Actual goblin sharks live in the deeper regions of the sea, and almost never encounter humans. They are rather ghoulish though, and even have an extendable mouth to grasp escaping prey. When taken to live in aquariums, they hardly last any longer than a week.

-Goblin sharks are indeed considered to be living fossils, for their closest ancestor was Scapanorhynchus, a Mesozoic shark that looked practically identical to it.

Image Gallery

"Who smashed my head with a shovel?!"

Straight into danger. Good work, woman.

"Tell me where the rabbits are, human."

Goblin Sharks are legends to these filmmakers? Wouldn't surprise me.

Surely, another event like this won't happen again...right?

"I know I shouldn't do it, but..."