“Another har-vex”

Films: Children of the Corn (2009)

Alias: Various, notably Isaac and Malachai

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of average humans.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: Back two decades ago, more so than that, we saw the rise of not only a franchise that just wouldn't stay in the ground, but the rise of a cult led by a bunch of kids with nothing better to do with their lives, led by the fanatical Isaac. Now, we seem him return, wussier and more twisted than ever.

History: The story is pretty much the same as you remember it. In Gatlin, Nebraska, Isaac and his followers have sworn allegiance to an entity known as He Who Walks Behind the Rows, and have killed in its name. Truth be told, Isaac's just carrying on a tradition that involves sacrificing one of several people each time they turn 19 because back then the adults were blamed for a drought. Now, some new people have showed up at the ghost town that is Gatlin.

Notable Kills: See Final Fate.

Final Fate: This time around, no one survives Isaac's dogmatic rampage. The last person in fact is turned into an impromptu scarecrow as Isaac frustratingly lowers the sacrifice age from 19 to 18 for his followers' less than stellar job at it.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3-These are children doing all of this. Murderous, mindlessly devoted children, but still children. Isaac is as hammy as ever, but not in the almost charming way the original was. It's more annoying this time around.

Trivia: -Most of the stuff in this film, the bleak ending included, are actually truer to Stephen King's original short story. This is no accident either. Producer Donald P. Borchers had worked on the original film, but felt that executive meddling kept it from being more faithful.

-Ironically, upon hearing about this film, Stephen King demanded that he should have nothing to do with it.

Image Gallery

Mr. Director, the cast would like to see you now...
When the local Mormons go too far...
"Welcome to the Circle of Pointless Remakes!"
"Isaac, we've been standing here for hours. Can we move now? I smell worse than the corn around here."