“Welcome back to Crystal Lake”

Films: Friday the 13th (2009)

Alias: None

Type: Natural...maybe

Location: Forest

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: In 1980, one of the greatest slashers of all time...let his mother make his mark. But then he came into the picture, and redefined the stalking indestructible murder machine. Then he got a reboot. Because of course he did. His name was Jason. You know the rest.

History: Much like before, poor deformed Jason Vorhees was left to drown when the counselors of Camp Crystal Lake were too busy having sex to notice. His mother went on the killing spree we remember before her demise. Now, Jason's taking her place, and unlike before, he's intent on making the visitors suffer harder than ever. Worse, he's dug a tunnel system below the ground, meaning that he knows the land better than anyone ever could. He will find you, and he will kill you...

Notable Kills: Little can top when he hung a girl trapped in a sleeping bag over a campfire to roast her. Sheesh.

Final Fate: After killing just about everyone, Jason gets stabbed in the chest with his own machete, and is tossed again into the lake. Then he rises again out of nowhere. It wouldn't be Jason if he couldn't take that.

Powers/Abilities: Amazing resilience, slight intelligence.

Weakness: Anything conventional, though impersonating his mother will distract him for some time.

Scariness Factor: 5-It's Jason Voorhees, for crying out loud! Of course he's the scariest thing around! And now, he's all for drawing out his kills instead of just using his machete. And that brain of his hasn't completely rotted away. In other words, had more films been made from this, we would basically have "Jason but ten times worse".

Trivia: -A sequel WAS considered, but it's so far deep in Development Hell that it'll probably warrant its own bio by then.

-If you can believe it, director Michael Bay was so displeased with how excessive the sex scenes were that he walked out of the premier. Think about that. Michael "there is not a single women I will not sexualize and verbally abuse on set" Bay couldn't take too much sex.

Image Gallery

You'd think they'd just bring the firing squad earlier.

Who could forget about Pamela right here?

I'd say the years weren't kind to you, but...
The number eternally written in blood.

Clearly, another machete maniac just met his match.

Eventually, all villains fade into legend.

Don't bother. It's basically a meaty stump.
You might as well put a target on each and every one.

Oh, really? How can we milk this tired franchise further?