“Lost morality, lost virtue, lost world”

Films: Land of the Lost (2009)

Alias: Grumpy the T-Rex, Cha-ka, the Sleestaks (Enik the Altrusian, Zarn), Comsognathus, Dromeosaurs, Alice the Allosaurus, Pteranodons, giant mosquitoes, giant crab

Type: Ancient

Location: Forest/Mountains/Jungle/Civilized Area/Desert

Height/Weight: Ranges from that of housecats to twice that of an elephant.

Affiliation: Good (Cha-Ka, Zarn), Neutral (Grumpy, Sleestaks, the rest of the dinosaurs, mosquitoes, crab), Evil (Enik)

Summary: Back then, there was that one cute little TV show involving the family, a lost world, some lizard men, and lots of dinosaurs. It was called "The Land of the Lost", and a lot of people still view it as a cult classic. Honestly, a modern reboot wouldn't be so bad! Why, you'd have to be a real ignoramus to screw something like that u...what the Hell is this...? What? WHAT?!

History: Okay...let's see if I can do this. This is the tale how a mean-spirited, stoner comedy-championing, tactless loser script got made...already went off course, huh? Alright, fine! Will Ferrell (as in, almost all the characters he's forced to do)-I mean, Rick Marshall is a disgraced scientist who may have figured out the key to travelling through time. Mainly, though a machine that amplifies tachyons. He and the few people who believe in him travel to a roadside cave attraction to find a place brimming with Tachyons...only for the amplifier to send them into an alternate realm where things from various timelines have collided in a primeval world. Soon, they find themselves meeting Cha-Ka the ape of the Pakuni, a belligerent Tyrannosaurus named Grumpy, various other hazards, and the savage Sleestak tribe, which is currently imperiled, along with all other realities, by an exile named Enik, who seeks to use the tachyon amplifier to help cross over into our world with an army of Sleestak slaves to take us over. Needless to say, the stakes are fairly high.

Notable Kills: We get to see Enik use a laser on Zarn in full detail. It's rather hard to watch.

Final Fate: Many creatures are killed during the journey, particularly Alice freezing and blowing up after eating a fire extinguisher, but in the end, Enik is exposed for his villainy, his plans are foiled, Grumpy and Marshall become friends after the latter fixes some anal blockage inside of him (don't ask...), and Marshall manages to escape while one of his friends and Cha-ka go off to live with the rest of the Pakuni tribe, who happen to be comprised of many nubile maidens. Of course, while Marshall reaps the winnings of his discovery, the egg he brought with him turns out to be a Sleestak egg, which hatches for a destiny yet unknown.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 4-All things considered, at least this film didn't skimp on making the creatures of this land bigger and better than ever. The Sleestaks are still creepy and ominous in all of their suited glory (with extra teeth to boot), there is a surprise around every corner, and Grumpy is easily one of the better characters in terms of sanity and ferocity...until the end, that is (Marshall should have been eaten, end of story). Cha-ka is also scary in his own way, in that a furry perverted savage with questionable attachment issues is probably not the best companion.

Trivia: -In the original series, most of the dinosaurs were portrayed by stop-motion and puppets. Chaka was also a very young ape man with no real vices whatsoever. As for the Sleestaks, Zarn and Enik's roles were reversed.

-Believe it or not, this was hardly the first time the show had been remade. A revival series was made in 1991, which featured much more saurian-looking Sleestaks, and instead of Grumpy, we got the much more accurate yet also more vicious Scarface.

Image Gallery

Wrong idea.

So close!

I would say this was a primal world, but this is how I react when I hear that they're selling ice-cream sandwiches.

Rodan's extended family wants him home to pay support.

So...tunics are evil? Yeah, try a twirling mustache next time.

There goes the last of his dignity.
The Mudcrabs want their revenge here!

It's love/hate at first sight!

Left alone with these two numbskulls? Yeah, he's already dead.
"To a better movie!"

"I'm gonna kill the shit out of the director."

They know a bigger problem when they see it.

Leonard Nimoy, NO!

He's just looking for an excuse to vent his daddy-issues. Let him work it out.

That's determination right there.

The compies know better than to interrupt the couple down there.

Oh, look! It's Paulie Shore after 10 years.

Evolution has gone a much different turn, has it?