“Lake Inferior”

Films: Loch Ness Terror (2008)

Alias: None

Type: Ancient

Location: Lake/Forest

Height/Weight: Twice that of an average elephant.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: And now, a return to the great lake monster we all know and love. A beast who has made famous the watery area of...Lake Superior OKAY WHAT THE HELL?! THIS IS A FILM ABOUT NESSIE, YOU MORONS! Okay, in all fairness, an alternate title was "Beyond Loch Ness", so let's give them the benefit of a doubt, actually.

History: At some point, Nessie somehow decided that Loch Ness wasn't doing it for her, and travelled ALL THE WAY ACROSS CONTINENTS AND STATES to Lake Superior. Now occupying the area near Pike Island, Ashburn, she became a complete menace to all the people there, eating them and/or letting her offspring eat the others.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After being harassed by a goddamn laser beam, Nessie is trapped and lured into a magnetite-related trap that gets blown up, taking her and her young with it.

Powers/Abilities: Apparently, Nessie can self-fertilize.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3-Not the WORST Syfy CGI we've seen, but also not the best either. Nessie indeed does her best to be the imposing monster she'd like us to think of her as. Her babies are decent too, being big enough to look a man in the eye and with an appetite to match.

Trivia: -An actual lake monster sighted in Lake Superior is Mishipeshu, or Pressie (ha). It is described as looking very similar to Nessie, but in Native American culture, the Mishipishu is an important beast with many features of a cat, hence the translation of its title, "The Great Lynx".

-If you couldn't guess, Nessie looks more like a savage sauropod than an actual plesiosaur. If we were being really generous, we'd say that she looks like a larger and meaner version of the Triassic marine reptile, Tanystropheus. And even then, that beast was notable for having an incredibly long neck, one longer than the rest of its entire body. It is thought to have been a straight piscivore.

Image Gallery

Guess the creature just had to photobomb this.

"Speaking of photobombing..."

"...how the hell did I do this?!"
Elmer Fudd's time has come.

Evolution didn't do any favors for chasing monkeys up trees.

"I am so lost."
A monster within a monster? Surely, 'beyond' is a good word for it.

Clearly, 'Beyond Loch Ness' means going 'Beyond Common Sense'.

"You came to the wrong lake!"

Every Egg Quest in Monster Hunter in a nutshell.