“Ferngully IN SPACE”

Films: Avatar (2009)

Alias: Various, notably the Na'vi (Neytiri, Tsu'tey, Mo'at, Eytukan, etc.), Toruk the Last Shadow (the Great Leonopteryx), Talioang (Sturmbeest), Angtsik (Hammerhead Titanotheres), Palulukans (Thanators), Atokirina (Woodsprites), Nantang (Viperwolves), pa'li (Direhorses), Syaksyuk (Prolemuris), Yerik (Hexapedes), Ikran (Banshees)

Type: Alien

Location: Jungle/Mountains/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: In general, all across the board, though the largest seen is that of a large biplane.

Affiliation: Neutral, leaning on Good

Summary: And now perhaps a monument to films looking pretty, but ultimately not having any cultural significance afterwards. Come Hell or high water, James Cameron BEGS us to acknowledge this film as his magnum opus. A modern experience unlike any other. The reality is that it is indeed like any other "stop attacking indigenous people and only the white man can save them" film ever made. One thing they don't have, though? A spectacular ecosystem, admittingly!

History: Somewhere far in the reaches of space, circling the gas giant known as Polyphemus, there is a lush, tropical moon known as Pandora. It is a target of mankind for its amazing bounty of resources, particularly a valuable mineral known as unobtanium (this is a term from a film that cost over 237 million, in case you were wondering), and to get it, the people need to make nice with the locals, a race of cat-like aliens known as the Na'vi. To do this, they have instigated the Avatar Program, in which people can actually have their conscious uploaded into the bodies of the Na'vi, and not only breathe the inhospitable atmosphere, but interact with the Na'vi without too much trouble. But alas, any dreams of world domination and economic superiority are dashed when one guy falls head over heels for the Na'vi chief’s daughter, and you probably know the rest from there.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: Eventually, our hero gains the trust of the Na'vi by becoming the rider of Toruk, a beast they hold in reverence. From there, they and all the creatures of Pandora pitch in to stop the humans from destroying their home, and the few who stay get to live among the Na'vi in peace.

Powers/Abilities: All of Pandora's flora and fauna are connected to Eywa, the Pandoran Goddess of all life. If Eywa wants them to rally together, they will without a second thought. The Na'vi can communicate with various creatures via a special organ located in braids on their hair. It's...something, to say the least.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 4-Pandora and all of its wildlife are fascinating and beautiful, but at the same time, you probably want to come with protection. Even the Na'vi know better than to toss caution to the side when confronting such super-predators as the vicious Nantang, the relentless Palulukans, and the awe-inspiringly powerful Toruk. Bottom line, regardless of what planet you're on, don't f*ck with nature.

Trivia: -Apparently, more than five sequels to this film are in development. Because of this and a few other things about this film, this has made Cameron the object of no shortage of ridicule. Oh sure James, your sequels to "sci-fi Pocohantas" will transcend everything that came before it. Ah well, at least we'll see more cool creatures, probably.

-For what it's worth, this film is one of the highest grossing films of all time, was a major seller of the Blu-Ray format, and has even found a place in Disneyworld of all places. For all eternity and the next few eternities to follow, James is going to want us to keep coming back to Pandora again and again.

Image Gallery

And so, the aspirations begin.

Rhinox and Depth Charge must have had a kid.

King Julien's interstellar cousin.

Que Ride of the Valkyries.
Proceed to nitpick the heck out of it.

Black Panther is about to take a turn...

Yeah, try not to think too hard about the mystical wet willie.

Cue suspenful music from the creature's perspective.

"Any idea what just happened this morning?"

A legacy of weirdness and questionable plot decisions.

What? The backpack was filled with oreos.

Carful. Alien Mufasa might fall into the stampede!

Do you see that? That means...

Tried to warn ya'. Why do you think we call them Banshees?

"Get off my lawn/planet!"

You'd think we were in the Abyss.

Greyhounds, by way of Satan.

...you're already dead.

"No, this man does not speak for me. I'm just bored."

There he flies, the true worthy king.