“You gonna get stoned”

Films: Rock Monster (2008)

Alias: Possibly Elas

Type: Mystical

Location: Forest/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of a small building.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: So, you're an evil wizard who wants to achieve his own aspirations of world domination and subjugation of the masses. What will you need to help you along your quest? Why, a loyal and powerful monster by your side! What could be better than that?

History: Long ago, the evil wizard Elas was defeated by a brave knight named Sir Jakivar Lazar, who sealed his soul within a heap of rock with the legendary sword Excalibur. Eight centuries later, and some idiots pull the sword out, releasing a great rock monster to go and kill everything. Even worse, a real go-getter named Dimitar has found some of Elas' writings, and uses his old magic to control the monster, and become a God among men. Now, it's up to one of Javikar's ancestors to put an end to this beastly rampage.

Notable Kills: Bites off a chunk of a man's brain while hiding in a cliffside.

Final Fate: After incapacitating Dimitar, our hero strikes the sword into the ground, opening up a pit leading to Hell. He flings the sword into the monster's chest, killing it for good. As the beast falls into the pit, it takes Dimitar with him.

Powers/Abilities: Impervious to just about every weapon, and can merge with rocky environments to blend in.

Weakness: Heavy artillery can temporarily incapacitate it, but striking it with Excalibur will seal its fate.

Scariness Factor: 3.5-The CGI is bad as usual for a Syfy film, but we don't exactly see hands raised to face such a powerful monster. Aside from a rather unique design, this thing isn't above killing people for their blood horribly, and simply cannot be killed by normal circumstances. To the next person who finds a spellbook, just give him a better disposition next time.

Trivia: -This film was directed by Declan O' Brian, a frequent Syfy original movie maker back in the day, as well as director for three of the "Wrong Turn" movies.

-Aside from Golems, other rock monsters in mythology include a Scandinavian interpretation of trolls, which were said to be made of stone, and became incapacitated in sunlight.

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Ladies and gentlemen, Orlok the Sorcerer!

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