“Sub-par submersible”

Films: Stinger (2005)

Alias: None

Type: Man-Made

Location: Haunted home

Height/Weight: Up to that of average humans.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: You can't go wrong with scorpions. They're basically spiders with twice as many weapons and a fine hide of armor and a mixed-up idea of where the venom comes from. But if previous films prove anything, it's that scorpions are poorly underused, mainly because they seem to keep being shoved to where the z-grade films are.

History: Somewhere off the coast of California, a government submarine has gone silent, and no one can tell why. When a team goes to investigate, they find that the reasons are a bit...off-putting. Turns out, genetically altered giant scorpions are running the joint now, and are quick to make snacks out of any intruders.

Notable Kills: See Final Fate.

Final Fate: After many are killed, man and scorpion alike, the whole sub is blown up. However, one of the survivors ends up having scorpion legs burst out of his torso…

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Heavy artillery.

Scariness Factor: 2-We don't care if these are giant versions of deadly arachnids. These scorpions were clearly made alongside the other micro-budget CGI props found all about this film. It doesn't help that the film keeps putting them in pitch-black darkness, which may or may not actually amplify them to some tiny extent.

Trivia: -Emperor scorpions are not that venomous. Remember, the bigger the scorpion, the less severe the sting. Otherwise, they wouldn't sell emperors as pets.

-"Scorpions in a submarine" is a premise that could have easily topped "Snakes on a Plane", but we here are still trying to find the alternate universe where these films switch sides. Who are we kidding, we run out of things to say here.

Image Gallery

All it takes is one stab and a bunch of water...
Classy or sexist? You make the call.

If you can tell what this is, be our guests.
The Black Scropion goes nautical!

I knew those egg rolls were a bad idea! They had THOSE types of eggs!