“The hunt hits a rut”

Films: Surburban Sasquatch (2004)

Alias: None

Type: Mystical

Location: Forest/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: Slightly larger than an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: So many sasquatch films, so little time. But hey, we managed to carve out some time for what is undoubtedly one of the worst adaptations of any cryptid ever. Whoever made this had better not have had delusions of grandeur, otherwise that guy's in for a rude awakening.

History: In the woods of America, the dreaded sasquatch roams, looking for victims to maim and eat. But all hope is not lost, for the sasquatch has an enemy. A mystical Native American hunts it down with a magic bow and arrow. She is the only one who can harm the beast as it carves a path of destruction.

Notable Kills: Rips out a person's innards and feeds them to him.

Final Fate: After being confronted in a house, the woman ends up subdued by the sasquatch...only for that girl's new friend to pick up the bow and shoot the monster in the heart, destroying it for good.

Powers/Abilities: Can apparently phase out of existence to get out of trouble.

Weakness: Magic-imbued weapons and animals.

Scariness Factor: 2-All things considered, at least this walking Halloween costume racks up a decent and rather bloody body count. But aside from that, it looks fantastically cheap, its roars are all stock and without inflection, and the digital effects surrounding it only serve to highlight how much of a punchline it is.

Trivia: -This whole film was done near a high school in Pennsylvania. Needless to say, it shows.

-The sasquatch was played by David Weldon, a regular for the films of Troubled Moon Productions.

Image Gallery

Troubled Moon? Try a Troubled Sun beating down on this thing!
Nothing like a nice refreshing athlete's foot!

So close to going the way of the local roadkill.
When a Sasquatch kills in the woods, does anybody hear it?

"F the PO-LICE, comin' straight from the underbrush..."