“Spit in the face of cinema”

Films: Llamageddon (2015)

Alias: None

Type: Alien

Location: Eldritch Location/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of an average llama.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: We very nearly included a film about killer llamas from decades ago. It was called "Barn of the Blood Llama", but its elusiveness and just plain bonkers look kept it away from us. We never thought that we would see the inclusion of murderous giraffe-sheep here. Until now.

History: Hailing from another planet, these evil llamas set out into space to seek new places to conquer. One ship got damaged, however, and plummeted into rural America. Now, it is spreading panic throughout the farm, and a few partying youngsters are having to fight for their lives as it begins the invasion.

Notable Kills: You will believe a llama can swing a toaster into a pool of partygoers.

Final Fate: After the llama has caused all kinds of mayhem, it gets turned into bloody mulch by a combine harvester. However, an infected person had just laid llama eggs, and there are more coming to our world. How prepared we are for it, none can say...

Powers/Abilities: An alien llama can fire eye beams, has exceptional intelligence, and has spit that can slowly turn people into man-llamas. Though it also has a secondary mouth on its stomach with tentacles to drag them in to incubate.

Weakness: Also, its laser beams can be deflected by things wrapped in aluminum foil.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-Had it not been for them using a real llama, we would have ranked this so much lower. Aside from the utterly absurd premise, there is NOTHING scary about a llama. Not even one that shoots laser beams...painfully turns people into hybrids...traps them in a secondary stomach for a while...impregnates guys...okay, there is some merit to this one. But again, llama, so not that much.

Trivia: -We weren't kidding about that "Barn of the Blood Llama" thing. An obscure film released in 1997, it looked more like something done in the early 60s or something. It basically involved a bunch of genetically-modified llamas terrorizing some inbred losers while implicitly wanting to have sex with them. Whomever thought this was all a good idea is anyone's guess.

-The llama in this film was played by one named Louie. Really, he was among the most tolerable of the actors here.

Image Gallery


Confirmation that the poster wasn't kidding.
"I see you laughing. You won't be soon."