“Beaned-stalk”

Films: Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

Alias: Various, notably General Fallon, Foe, and Fumm

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of small buildings.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: Many people know of the epic tale regarding a hapless farm boy and how he managed to get to the Heavenly kingdom of the giants. Of course, Hollywood couldn't resist making a gritty reboot of such a story, and we got it. It was...well, consider yourself one of good memory if you remember this.

History: The story plays out a lot like you remember it. A farm boy named Jack stumbles upon some magic beans, grows one, and it turns into a giant beanstalk that leads to a new land called Gantua. That is, a whole kingdom full of gross, unsavory, tyrannical giants. Upon seeing humans among them, the giants realize that there are plenty more delicious morsels where that came from. Soon, the entire kingdom is in peril of being invaded by an army of malicious giants, led by the two-headed General Fallon.

Notable Kills: One of their preferred meals is pigs-in-a-blanket, but with live pigs and occasionally humans.

Final Fate: The giants manage to storm the castle, but by that point, Fallon has already broken in. Jack manages to defeat him by making him eat a beanstalk seed, which graphically bursts out of him and turns the castle into a beanstalk. Now that Jack is wearing the giant's crown, the rest bow down to him, and they are sent back to their land. Years down the line, and the crown is refurbished into St Edward's Crown itself.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional, though the giant's crown can control them all as it did before.

Scariness Factor: 4-The giants certainly are a repulsive lot, and they have the horrid dispositions to boot. Fallon is obviously the worst out of them all with his malformed conjoined twin. Then again, the fact that there's an easily accessible crown that can control them all does mitigate things a bit.

Trivia: -The name Fallon comes from the Irish/Gaelic word for "Leader".

-This film was originally going to be Bryan Singer's take on "Excalibur", but for some reason, that fell through.


Image Gallery


Pictured: Bryan Singer's face.


Feel the terror of a child's slingshot that belongs in a 90s film!
Seems fair to wager.

Evil as he is, he makes a killer pork roast.

Golem's conjoined brothers look intently.

The family that skulks together...

A FAMILY PICTURE!

"Don't fail us now, gravity!"


Trailer(s)