“A Trio of Titans”

Films: Jack the Giant Killer (2013)

Alias: None

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of large buildings.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: So, this year's retelling of "Jack and the Beanstalk" wasn't all that good, huh. Well, that's a crying shame. But perhaps it needed just a bit more imagination and ambition. Who could possibly offer that? I know! How about the Asylum! Well...yes and no.

History: The story is as you remember it...for the most part. Jack heads up a beanstalk he accidentally grew, it takes him to a kingdom above the clouds...and he ends up pissing off the local sorceress Serena. The woman decides to destroy the surface world with some assets. Big assets. As in, three giant quadrupedal monsters that cannot be stopped by conventional weaponry. Soon, Jack and his friends will have to think of a means of stopping them before they stomp everything to oblivion.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After Jack unwittingly destroys the one thing that Serena was using to control the monsters, he manages to craft a makeshift mech while the witch uses some magic to help kill two of the beasts. The last one is goaded by Jack into eating him while he's in the mech, only for the boy to rip his way out of the monster's throat. Serena leaves on better terms with the surface people, and Jack gets off quite nicely.

Powers/Abilities: Near-impenetrable hides.

Weakness: A special keepsake Serena uses controls them. Should it be destroyed, they will be dazed for a bit. Also, magic and attacking from the inside are good methods.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-The odd design and insurmountable power of these giants is not to be trifled with. They could have easily destroyed Jack's entire homeland in an afternoon had it not been for some good luck. But because this is the Asylum, the monsters are wasted by some frankly terrible CGI that's low even by their standards (the running scenes are cringeworthy). At least the concept artists tried.

Trivia: -These creatures closely resemble a combination of a Triceratops and an Uintatherium, an Eocene relative of the rhino.

-In a rare instance for the Asylum, this film was released after the film it was doing a Mockbuster of. It was off by eleven days.


Image Gallery


"I got this badass weapon set! I regret nothing!"
G for "Greenlit, but dear God, why?"
Live from Area 51!
Cera's dad really let himself go.

"Who's cow is this?!"


Trailer(s)