“Avian atrocities”

Films: Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010), Birdemic 2: The Resurrection (2013)

Alias: Various, mostly hawks and turkey vultures

Type: Natural

Location: Civilized Area/Forest

Height/Weight: That of average birds.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: Ladies and gents, we present to you what might be the "The Room" of all known horror cinema. A piece of cinematic garbage so determined in its f*ck-uppery that you'd swear the director was doing it as a joke. A film so mired in ineptitude, it spawned a sequel just so people could see if the sh*t-flood flowed twice. And it all involves a gallery of birds.

History: Global warming. That's literally the only reason given for the hordes of birds suddenly going berserk on the world and attacking every human in sight. But sadly, you will most likely be enduring painfully-written characters and dialogue written out of a chimp's ass before you can see any bird action. And by "bird-action", we mean the cheapest CGI effects we've ever seen.

Notable Kills: Death by bird vomit/shit. NO.

Final Fate: Every time the birds attack, the just...stop. They just stop and leave. Don't you just love it when stuff just resolves itself?

Powers/Abilities: Apparently, their vomit/excrement is dangerous to people.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 1-Awful effects dominate any discussion about these birds. That, as well as crap sound design and the fact that they spend more time crashing into things and exploding than they do killing people.

Trivia: -A second sequel, called "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle", was attempted through crowdfunding, but it didn't even make an eighth of its goal.

-This film was directed by James Nguyen, whose films all share excessive padding, awful romance plotlines, cars slowly parking in and out, and this odd stubborn philosophy to always leave the camera rolling, hence the padding.

Image Gallery

We're all probably gonna die from laughter.

THIS is what I wanted to wake up to, I bet.

You sure about that?

I'm too busy focusing on how the director tried to trademark that one genre.
The end result of the Brexit Bus.

Hitchcock further rolls in his grave.

"It'll be like William Castle! RELEASE THE BIRDS!"

Trump's presence drove the eagles loco!
Aspiring filmmakers, give up. You'll never get anything as majestic as this.

After just ONE bender.