“Jurassic Crap”

Films: Jurassic Prey (2015)

Alias: None

Type: Ancient

Location: Forest

Height/Weight: That of an average elephant.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: We have reached near the tail-end of 2015, the year when it became cool to make dino movies again. Sadly, because Hollywood has seemed to convince itself that all dinosaur cinema begins and ends with "Jurassic Park", it has been left to the low-budget folks to pick up the pace. And sadly, this is often the best we got.

History: A mining accident in rural America has triggered an explosion, releasing a creature lost to time. An unidentified theropod dinosaur is now on the loose, stalking the local forest for any tasty humans. Soon, a motely group of mostly unpleasant people end up in its hunting grounds, and all of their previous grievances will pale in comparison to the prehistoric monster afoot.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: By the end of it all, there is only one person left. Another manages to fight the theropod, and the both of them tumble into the nearby lake. This seems to drown the beast...until it's revealed that it survived perfectly.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 1.5-Sadly, a combination of practical puppetry and stop-motion fails hard to bring this dinosaur to life. Absolutely no shot it's in, except MAYBE the puppet head shots, make it look like a creature that's real, or even in the same shot as the humans. The whole thing reeks of amateur hour, but at least they didn't resort to cheap CGI.

Trivia: -It may not be obvious at first, but the dinosaur here is a very clear retread of the Indominus Rex from "Jurassic World".

-This film was done in Wellsboro, Pennsylvania. Very few dinosaurs have been found in the state, but many other creatures from before their time were, such as Hynerpeton, one of the earliest amphibians.

Image Gallery

We're referring to profesional filmmaking.

The photographer couldn't stop laughing.
Complete with a stupid hand-puppet.

[Insert Kazoo noise]
You're not even trying!

A refugee from Dinosaur Hell?
It'll be nowhere near as cool as this!

When in doubt, go the way of celluloid cavemen.