“Terror toddlers”

Films: Cooties (2014)

Alias: Various, notably Shelley Linker, Patriot, and Dink

Type: Mutant

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of an average humans their age.

Affiliation: Neutral (most of them), Evil (Patriot)

Summary: Zombie kids are nothing new. But a film about nothing but them? That's a bit more novel. It's also, as this film demonstrates, somehow twice as nauseating and brutal.

History: Somewhere in Fort Chicken, Illinois, some rather infected poultry gets mashed into nuggets that are then sent to Fort Chicken Elementary. A girl named Shelley eats one, and gradually turns into a ravenous feral zombie. She bites and scratches the other kids, and they begin to follow suit, killing man and child alike. Soon, most of the faculty members will find themselves in a battle for survival.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: Many survive the outbreak, but the school is burned down while Shelley goes out with a slow, burning death. The survivors speculate that wherever they're going, a cure can be developed.

Powers/Abilities: A bite/scratch spreads the infection.

Weakness: Anything conventional. Also, no one who went through puberty can be infected.

Scariness Factor: 4-It's a zombie army of kids. That may sound less terrifying than zombie adults, but damn, it just makes it all the more unsettling! Not helping matters is that many of those kids were pretty nasty beforehand, especially Patriot. That tyke was a news report waiting to happen.

Trivia: -Amusingly, this was not the first time Elijah Wood encountered schoolyard horrors. The first time would be "The Faculty".

-Food poisoning, especially bad meat from factories, is a major killer, often seen as the main spreader of E.coli. And when you factor in the fact that kids are often the victims of that, it paints this film in an even grimmer light.

Image Gallery


Given he had an army of the dead help him destroy the One Ring, at one point...

Those aren't intenstines! They're, uh, sausages!
We needed these after World War Z.

Okay, Boomer.

This is America.
The creed of every jackass parent!

"Eat the janitors instead."

I think you just answered your own question.

Repressed anger, much?

Good luck getting this sight of your head.