“Still now here for showtunes”

Films: Gila (2012)

Alias: None

Type: Unknown, possibly Mutant

Location: Forest/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of a truck.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: Back in the twilight years of the 50s, we saw a rather eerie (yet also somehow annoying) film about a monstrous Mexican bearded lizard (again, misleading title) stalking everyone and killing whomever couldn't get out in time. It was a commendable effort...but the same cannot be said for its unofficial remake. You'd best steer clear of this one.

History: Like in the original, no one's quite sure where the giant Gila monster came from. All that's known is that it's a threat to everyone living in the Midwestern area. Every single attempt to kill it has failed so far, but the humans keep trying, if only to stall it until it gets hungry again.

Notable Kills: Smacks a barrel full of toxic chemicals at two people, and crushes a car with people in it.

Final Fate: After a while, a plan is hatched to blow the Gila monster up with explosives and a car, just like the last time. Surprisingly, it works just fine. Though a second, smaller giant Gila monster is seen stalking the night...

Powers/Abilities: A very durable hide.

Weakness: Heavy artillery.

Scariness Factor: 2-The original big venomous lizard was the real deal, albeit the wrong species. But this unsightly thing is perhaps some of the worst that cheap CGI has to offer. At no point does this facsimile of a Gila monster look anything like an actual reptile. It doesn't matter how many people it kills on-screen. It will never hold a candle to the old.

Trivia: -One of the extras is Don Sullivan, the star of the original film.

-Almost all of this was filmed in Johnson County, Indiana.

Image Gallery

As cheap as it was originally!

Time to break out the wake-up mat.

An explosive comeback...maybe.

Which episode of ReBoot is this?

"I pulled over, sir! Now, are you gonna-"
As if the last train crash wasn't meaningful...

Rarely does this end well.