“CGI Shark Hell”

Films: Jurassic Shark (2012)

Alias: None

Type: Ancient

Location: Lake/Ocean

Height/Weight: Twice that of an average great white.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: Sometimes, you really got to wonder if aspiring filmmakers ever watch these movies, and then rent shark cages just so they can give the poor predators a hug. They'd certainly need one, considering the crap cinema they're constantly forced into.

History: Oil mining companies have chipped away enough at the ice to unleash a prehistoric predator. A massive great white from the Jurassic is out and about, and it's decided to make a lake in a random island its feeding grounds. Luckily for it, there are plenty of idiots to chomp on.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After many try and fail to kill the shark (some end up killing themselves even), one manages to get it to eat a bomb that's eventually detonated, destroying the shark. However, a second one shows up almost immediately afterwards...

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 1.5-It's a big great white...and that's it. The rest is CGI that not even the Asylum would accept, the fact that it CLIPS through people, and above all, no one can tell their heads from their asses fast enough to just get rid of it. It's all a dismal affair.

Trivia: -An ACTUAL Jurassic shark was the not as big but just as well-equipped Hybodus. About the size of a sand tiger shark, Hybodus actually got its start during the Permian period, and persisted until the end of the Cretaceous. It was known for having two separate type of teeth, and a barb on its dorsal fin most likely used for defense against the larger marine reptiles it shared the water with.

-This film ostensibly has two sequels, but they're really just a 1998 documentary and 2002's "Megalodon" respectively.

Image Gallery

The remains of this movie could better serve as chum!


Free Thrilly!
Of which will be very soon.

That's not a frisbee, guy!
Go back to school, movie.

A Megamouth after radiation?

There goes another rich man's yacht!