“Nobody will watch this, that's for sure.”

Films: The Traveler (2010)

Alias: None

Type: Unknown, possibly Mystical

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: If there's one actor that inspires very little confidence, it's...well, it could be a lot of people. Rob Schneider, Kevin James, Adam Sandler, Sam Worthington, or in this case, the ever-so arrogant and forgotten Val Kilmer. So join us as he sleepwalks through a role as a crook who may or may not be a vengeful ghost.

History: Twas the night before Christmas, and instead of a homicidal Saint Nick, we have some odd figure confessing to murder at a police station. However, every time he confesses to a murder, the police investigating him die the exact same way the confession is told. It is possible this stranger, who prefers the name of Mr. Nobody, is actually the spirit of a man wrongfully brutalized and killed for being a suspect long ago. But who can be sure?

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After the lead's kid's ghost shows up, he finds the will and ability to blast Mr. Nobody with a shotgun, ending his reign of terror.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3-To some degree, Kilmer's cold, unfeeling performance actually works. Mr. Nobody is a calculating and unpredictable menace, even if his haircut bites and he sounds half-awake most of the time.

Trivia: -Okay, Val Kilmer isn’t THAT bad of a person, especially compared to other actors with long losing streaks. The man is a major environmental activist, and was quick to offer support after Hurricane Katrina. Maybe it was his stints in the 90s that soured our image of him.

-This film was directed by Michael Oblowitz, who seems to have a finer career in doing short films, seeing as they make up the bulk of his work.

Image Gallery

Simple. Restraing bolt. Dark, but you'll soon see why.

A washed-up actor's eye tells everything.
Just look at the movies he's left in his wake.

Mere minutes before he decides this movie needs a plot.


Well, this could be the darkest episode of Brooklyn 99 ever.