“Loathe thy neighbor”

Films: The Watch (2012)

Alias: Various, notably Jamarcus and Jason

Type: Alien

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of average humans.

Affiliation: Good (Jamarcus), Evil (Jason, the rest)

Summary: Oh look, another body snatcher flick! But wait! This one actually has aliens that look rather intimidating and interesting. What could possibly...oh…that "humor"...this will not be fun.

History: In the quiet neighborhood suburb of Glenview, Ohio, something is just getting started. People are disappearing left and right, and some people are coming back looking and acting rather odd. But what could the reason be? A recently-founded neighborhood watch may have the answer. A strange orb and a small skirmish have revealed that there are aliens among us, and they plan on calling the rest of the armada to destroy everything. Only the watch can hope to save us now...

Notable Kills: One alien lodges his entire arm through a person's chest from behind, Mortal Kombat style.

Final Fate: After the main beacon is revealed at a Costco and one of the aliens, Jamarcus Perkins, decides to protect humanity, the watch is able to find out the aliens' weakness, and use the orb to blow the whole place up, ending the invasion.

Powers/Abilities: They can take the form of humans, and are invulnerable in every spot except...

Weakness:...the crotch. That's where their brains are. Yes, this film has weaponizes nut shots.

Scariness Factor: 3.5-These aliens came so close to being much scarier. They have intimidating designs, the do the whole body-snatching thing well, and they sow paranoia across the idiots in this place. But that goddamn utterly stupid weakness deflates most of it. How can you can an alien race scary if the go-to is slamming it in the groin?! Like a lot of things in this film, it's painfully stupid.

Trivia: -Yes, that is Doug Jones playing as at least one of the aliens during the parts where the effects go practical. Yes, he did it well, for what it's worth.

-This wouldn't be the first time people thought of brains in weird placements. An actual theory in paleontology was that Stegosaurus had a brain in its tail in order to move it around quick enough due to the possibility of needing a better nervous system. Nowadays, this has been widely debunked.

Image Gallery

It's been a long day.

That's it. We're out.
Look! The real saviors of the film!