“Greek Mirth-ology”

Films: Clash of the Titans (2010), Wrath of the Titans (2012)

Alias: The Kraken, the harpies, Calibos (Acrisius), Pegasus, the Scorpiochs, the Stygian Witches, Charon, Medusa, the chimera, the cyclops, the minotaur, the Makhai, Kronos

Type: Mystical

Location: Ocean/Civilized Area/Forest/Desert/Eldritch Location/Mountains

Height/Weight: Ranges from that of an average human to that of mountains.

Affiliation: Good (Pegasus), Neutral (most of the rest), Evil (Harpies, Calibos, Kronos)

Summary: The beginning of the 80s was also the end of Harryhausen's prosperous career. And it ended with a bang in the form of a romp based around the myth of Perseus. Almost three decades later, and we're treated to a near-mindless runaway train of flat performances, lots of testosterone-poisoned men screaming, middling story...but at least we still got a feast of monster action.

History: In the time before humanity, the Gods won the war against their predecessors, the Titans, by having Hades create the Kraken. But now, the people's faith in the Gods is waning, and people have stopped worshiping them. Hades, hoping to get revenge on Zeus for tricking him into having to rule the Underworld, uses this to encourage Zeus into unleashing the Kraken again. However, there's a spanner in the works in the form of Perseus, Zeus' moody illegitimate son (FYI, Zeus is an AWFUL father in every ancient myth he's in). Now, our flimsy vehicle for Sam Worthington is on a quest to stop the Gods, or at least Hades, from mucking everything up.

Notable Kills: Some of Medusa's kills don't even have the time to fully turn to stone before they're shattered.

Final Fate: Perseus is able to stop the Kraken's short-lived rampage by turning it to stone via the decapitated head of Medusa. A decade later, the lack of faith in the Gods is so great that they can no longer imprison the lord of all Titans and their father, Kronos. Perseus ends up having to fix that too with the Spear of Trium by flying on Pegasus into his throat and basically blowing him up from the inside. By the end of it all, Hades is the last God alive, but he's mortal and has since grown out of wanting everyone dead. Now, the world fully belongs to man.

Powers/Abilities: The Kraken and Kronos are basically invincible, Calibos' lost limbs can become Scorpiochs, the Stygian Witches can see into the future with that one eye they share, Medusa can turn people to stone or just kill them with her archery skills, the chimera's goat head spits gasoline-like fluid while the main head ignites it, and the Makhai have small fire powers.

Weakness: Medusa's head can turn anything to stone, even the Kraken (though it won't work on certain racist Middle-Eastern caricatures), and Kronos can be taken out by the Spear of Trium, which is basically the main three Gods' weapons forged together. Everything else can be taken out by conventional means/heavy artillery.

Scariness Factor: 4-The monsters of Greece are now more diverse, and more powerful than they ever were before. Some standouts include the grotesque Stygian witches, Medusa's utter glow-up, and the sheer awe-inspiring kaiju terror of guys like the Kraken and the walking volcano that is Kronos. The chimera is also pretty frightening, as in it looks like something a psychotic metal album cover artist would conceive.

Trivia: -Holy Hera, the revisions and executive meddling the first film went through were nothing less than embarrassing. The original draft was much closer to Greek mythology, and a few ideas even included crossovers with other Gods, with Tiamat as the main antagonist. But alas, Sam Worthington wanted more action scenes, and he was trending after "Avatar". But the straw that broke the camel's back for director Louis Leterrier was when the execs rushed a 3D conversion for this film because of, again, "Avatar". He disowned the film and didn’t return for the sequel in retaliation.

-Because karma's a harpy, the sequel pretty much obliterated Worthington's image of an ideal actor, and pretty much everyone recognized him as a charmless, testosterone-addled charisma black hole. But hey, those "Avatar" sequels that are totally anticipated will resurrect his career, right?


Image Gallery


Ride into mediocrity!

"Great. I'm the villain again. Brace yourselves, everyone."

"What do they make these shields out of?! Adamantium?!"

Oh. Talk about a game face.

"You woke me up for a tiny snack? Fine."

If only he knew the myth of who slew the Chimera.

A staring contest goes wrong!

Starting off with a heavy metal album cover?

The one time the myth calls for Pegasus and he can't even be here!

Ack! Man is Lava!
With that, his hand is nothing but a gangrenous mass.

The bats that ate all the crystal meth.

"So full of rage! They took out my role in the story and turned me into THIS!"

Forgive us if we skip over the racist characters.

Nothing like a nice grazing...wait a minute.

"SCREW STEAAAAALTH!"

They don't pay him enough for this.

"Citizens with basic weapons! My one weakness!"

"Can we visit Posiedon and Athena next? Just some personal stuff."

"Get this stuff off me!"

Augustus Gloop, stop!

Might wanna get that head out soon.

Anyone else about to get mildly racist vibes?

A true Black Beauty.

"I see...at least one actually better sequel. And here I thought it was just doom."

The true ships of the desert.

All that hope, dashed by a racist joke/action.

All the hatred of just watching pidgeons pass by.

Gangway!

Good luck sleeping tonight.


Too much Red Bull and this might happen!

And another Heavy Metal album cover to end this on!
Team Gritty and Awkward Vs. Team Snobby and Awesome.

They call him....he who slices the sun!

"Hey, Calibos. At least WE got a bigger role."

"Look! A stick! Let's fetch!"

Hey, after every traumatizing experience, you gotta pick up some hobbies, like archery.

She takes sculpting VERY seriously.

"Like I said! Bigger role!"

Why couldn't THIS be the love story that the film wanted to hammer down our throats?

He's upset we put him all the way down here.

Greek equivalent of a pest problem.

"Why did I have to be the BACK head?"


Trailer(s)