“Schmoe-White”

Films: Grimm's Snow White (2012)

Alias: Dragon, the Queen's Hounds

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area/Forest

Height/Weight: Ranges from that of rhinos to that of a truck.

Affiliation: Neutral (dragon), Evil (hounds)

Summary: This decade, we suffered through a couple adaptations of the famous Snow White legend. One was an actually passable light-hearted comedy that we wouldn't mind seeing again, the other was a bloated dark-fantasy that took itself way too seriously, but at least had a couple interesting ideas. Alas, there was another that slipped under the cracks, and as one might guess, it was The Asylum trying to cash in on a fad.

History: As the story usually goes, there's a wicked queen, in this case one named Gwendolyn, who killed the king by summoning a dragon, and she's got it in for her stepdaughter, the fair princess Snow White. In order to ensure that her reign lasts forever, she has her huntsman banish her to the woods, where the queen is sure she'll be ripped limb from limb by the many monsters that lurk in there. But alas, the fires of rebellion are sparked, and Snow White finds herself running into both friend and foe as she now conspires to get Gwendolyn off her throne.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: Most of the hounds are killed via arrows and magic pits, while the dragon is grievously injured when two swords are jammed into its mouth. The queen is foiled, the kingdom is saved, everyone's happy.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3-The only monster that's even remotely intimidating is the dragon, if only for its rather cool lizard-inspired design. But just like the frankly cringe-worthy hounds, it's hamstrung by awful CGI. But really, the hounds have it the worst. Look at how they run. Look at it and laugh.

Trivia: -There are no mythological creatures in the original fairy tale. Unless you count the dwarves, that is. But even still, this film replaced them with tall and handsome elves. Cowards...

-The hounds in this film bear a slight resemblance to striped hyenas, minus a lot of their fur. Considering how medieval times would sometimes import African animals for show, it wouldn't surprise us.


Image Gallery


Almost got sued by Countess Dracula, did you?

Fetch, boy!

Must have gotten into the chocolate.
Give a girl a bow and arrow. Then, wait a few days. Boom! Instant expert.

I said fetch!

"I can't do this, prince! I want to marry the lizard!"

"None shall pass!"

Dental work gone horribly wrong.

Who can doubt the majesty of the CGI Slurpasaur?


Trailer(s)