“I see a Blood Moon Rising”

Films: Seventh Son (2014)

Alias: Mother Malkin, Bony Lizzie, ghosts, iron golem, Uraq the werebear, Tusk, the Boggart, Radu, Virabhadra the king of Swords, Sarikin, Strix

Type: Mystical

Location: Haunted Home/Civilized Area/Forest

Height/Weight: Ranges from that of average humans to that of small houses.

Affiliation: Good (Tusk, Bony Lizzie), Neutral (ghosts, iron golem, Boggart), Evil (the rest)

Summary: Sometimes, you just look at a movie and say to yourself "this will be lucky to anything more than mediocre". Because when you story involves a chosen one, said chosen one being a generic white boy, and a bunch of monsters being thrown in for the sake of keeping attention, chances are you need to make the last bit at least memorable. And in a way, this film managed that, though none of it could save the rest.

History: It is the 16th century, and a grizzled witch hunter named Gregory has found a seventh son of a seventh son, the one person who could hold the key to stopping an unspeakable evil that Gregory failed to kill years ago. A while back, the witch Mother Malkin fell in love with him, but upon being rejected, she went absolutely insane and ravaged the land, with Gregory merely imprisoning her instead of finishing the job. Now she's back, getting back all of her lieutenants while spreading discord everywhere with them and her family. And once the blood moon starts to rise, the forces of evil grow stronger! Only Gregory and his new apprentice, the seventh son, can hope to stop her.

Notable Kills: See Final Fate.

Final Fate: Gregory and the oh-so-very-important seventh son manage to cut through Malkin's forces with a bit of help and tons of knowledge regarding all their weaknesses. However, when Malkin threatens the daughter of her sister Boney Lizzie, the sisters end up clashing as dragons. Malkin wins the aerial dogfight, but not before being near-fatally injured. The seventh son, having been revealed as the son of a witch as well, finishes the job and burns Malkin to ashes. He and the ogre Tusk then go to continue fighting evil while Gregory departs elsewhere.

Powers/Abilities: All witches are efficient in magic, particularly shapeshifting. The strongest of witches seem to have the forms of dragons, such as Malkin and Radu. Malkin in particular is invulnerable to most witch weaknesses, and Radu can form chained blades from his arms. Uraq can turn into a giant bear, and Sarikin into a leopard. The Boggart also has an impeccable sense of smell.

Weakness: Salt, silver, fire, and the Umbran Stone are all very good ways to kill witches. Other magic is also good. Conventional weaponry is a last resort, but it can work too.

Scariness Factor: 4-Hackneyed plot notwithstanding, this is a rather terrifying world to live in. If you aren't being hunted by giant Boggarts or ghosts, you have to contend with the witches. Almost all of them have incredibly powerful and oftentimes unsightly forms to turn into. Malkin's heavy metal-looking dragon form and Radu's utterly ravenous lizard-like form spring to mind. But alas, Malkin's hammy performance puts a bit of a damper on her intimidation. That's not to say she isn't a force to be reckoned with, though.

Trivia: -The sheer amount of things changed from the original novel, one out of several in the "Spook's" book series, sparked some major backlash from both fans and casual audiences alike. Not helping was it being released during a dump month (February) and all of the rather questionable design choices (Jeff Bridges sounds like he's completely drunk, for one thing).

-While this film was prepped for 2013, and then 2014, it wasn't released completely until 2015 due to several factors, including the bankruptcy of the effects studio and the phoned-in conversion to 3D (yes, studios were still chasing that trend).


Image Gallery


Did you just steal that from the Honeynut Cheerios Bee?

The only thing we have to fear is bears.

How do you do honorable battle like THAT?!
Castlevania, this is not.

"What are you doing in my swamp?!" "These are the woods, sir."

How to Train your Witch.
That Indominus Rex behind there?

Giving high-fives must be tough.

Don't you just hate family squabbles?

They did ask for More Teeth.


Trailer(s)