“Dork Universe”

Films: The Mummy (2017)

Alias: None

Type: Mystical

Location: Desert/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: It was the late 2010s, and ever since Marvel wowed audiences with its interconnected film universe, several other studios wanted to take a crack at the winning formula as well. As one might guess, it was very hit-or-miss across the board. The DCEU became a minefield of the highest highs and lowest lows, the Monsterverse actually prevailed and gained a dedicated following, and Universal's Dark Universe...a testament to poor planning and just how much chasing trends can butcher any hope of good adaptations.

History: Princess Ahmanet was a capable warrior, a woman of royalty, and the next in line to become Pharaoh of Egypt. But then, her father bore a son, denying her the birthright. Consumed by jealousy, Ahmanet made a blood pact with Set, the God of chaos and death, to become a supernatural being. After killing her dad and her baby brother, Ahmanet was apprehended, mummified, and buried far away in Mesopotamia for all eternity. But many centuries later, her tomb was unearthed, and her restless spirit broke loose. Now, only a secret organization known as Prodigium, ran by Dr. Henry Jekyll (yes, that guy), stands a chance at stopping her from reclaiming the broken pieces of the Dagger of Set, finding a worthy body for the mad God, and taking over the world. Oh, and Tom Cruise is the hero. Oi vey...

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After subduing Cruise (we will keep referring to him as such) and letting Set possess him, Ahmanet is unexpectedly defeated when Cruise summons the will to give her the very same kiss of death she liked to use, turning her into a shriveled corpse. Methinks this film deserved to tank this piece of "cinematic universe attempt" garbage.

Powers/Abilities: Ahmanet is skilled with the blade, but her new powers also let her control swarms of vermin, summon gigantic sandstorms, steal lifeforce through a kiss, and be immune to all weapons.

Weakness: Mercury is especially painful to her, but somehow using the powers of Set will seal the deal.

Scariness Factor: 4-For what it's worth, Ahmanet is a formidable antagonist. She's insane, powerful, and would have wiped out the entire world by herself. Her pale skin and double-irises are just the icing on the cake. A pity she was defeated because a man kissed her to death. We get it. It's supposed to be ironic. But you know what's more ironic? The fact that she was done in by a guy who seems to be incapable of aging as well.

Trivia: -Owing to this film’s colossal failure was the fact that Tom Cruise pretty much all but hijacked the entire production. Originally a straight horror flick, as it should have been, Tom took advantage of how many of the crew, including director Alex Kurtzman, were inexperienced with a production of this scale. He proceeded to make sure that it was more in line with the action-packed star-vehicles that he thrived in, depleting Ahmanet's screen-time and changing several key plot elements to make him look like totally the opposite of a complete Mary Sue. Of course, once the film came out, almost everyone except him disowned the production, as if they had nothing to do with it. And in a way, thanks to Tom, they DIDN'T.

-Originally, the titular mummy would have been a mummification enthusiast from Assyria known as King Ashurbanipal.

Image Gallery

A world better eaten by Unicron due to how cynical it is.

Set likes what he sees, I bet.

"You LITERALLY jumped at the call to tie me up like this."
Nice eyes there.

Back in her day...

His mediocrity destroys the whole city!

Her followers need a bit more hygeine.

"The star has proven to be myself. Apologies, scientology-worshipping fool."


That's nothing. Wait until Hyde SINGS.