“Shark weaker”

Films: Shark Week (2012)

Alias: Reef sharks, great whites

Type: Natural

Location: Civilized Area/Ocean

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: This year, we saw a rather biting (ha!) take on what happens when we take our fascination with sharks for granted, and how it can lead to insanity, murder, and a lot of human chum in the water. But alas, someone at the Asylum just had to go for it, and considering how many killer shark movies they can churn out, it wasn't surprising at all that this was the end result.

History: The eccentric and borderline-psychotic billionaire Tiburon had recently lost his son. Feeling that there were people to blame for it, he set out kidnapping many individuals who went too close to his private island. He had something in mind for them. Something twisted. Basically, the captives had to endure being put through trials, all of which involved the sharks either in Tiburon's care or around the coast. Hell Week can move over in favor of this version of Shark Week.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: In the end, after barely surviving sharks and landmines, one survivor tracks Tiburon down to a rock above the ocean. Without hesitation, the woman tosses a harpoon through the guy's torso, sending him falling into the shark-infested waters. Though whether Tiburon hoped for this outcome or not is unknown.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-If you told us that someone was going to do "Saw but with sharks", we'd be hooked instantly. If you told us it had the Asylum brand of cheap CGI, then our hopes would be quickly deflated. And sure enough, the fakeness shines through, no matter what the carnage.

Trivia: -This film was also known as "Shark Assault".

-Nowhere in recorded history does there seem to be an instance where people got dumped into tanks full of sharks. We're certain they were led into the ocean for things like that, but that classical villain trap is as fictitious as it gets, mainly because dangerous sharks are near-impossible to domesticate.

Image Gallery


This underwater ballet sold like freaking gangbuster.
RIGHT as you come up for air!