“The b*tches are still witches”

Films: The Witches (2020)

Alias: None

Type: Mystical

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: In 1990, we saw one of the most terrifying adaptations of one of Roald Dahl's "The Witches". The effects work of Jim Henson did not disappoint in the slightest, even if it chickened out of being a faithful adaptation at the last minute. Now, we have something that may be truer to the text, but doesn't quite hit the mark like the other one did. Ah, still a valiant effort.

History: The context is as you remember it. A coven of witches out to destroy children out of hatred of their innocence. Their leader, the Grand High Witch, concocts Formula 86 to put in sweets so that all kids get turned into mice to be killed by adults. Bad news for the grandson of a woman who encountered witches firsthand, for when a witch sets their sights on a child, there's no escape.

Notable Kills: Zaps an insubordinate witch to blackened ash.

Final Fate: Unlike before, the Grand High Witch manages to escape eating from the enchanted food, and confronts the heroes. However, the kids-turned-mice's ingenuity results in some extra humiliation and her taking the formula anyway. Her cat Hades finishes the job while the protagonists go on to hunt all remaining witches for the good of the world.

Powers/Abilities: The Grand High Witch can levitate, as well as use all sorts of destructive magic.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3-Sadly, this version of the leading hag is nowhere near as imposing nor hideous as her predecessor. Sure, those horrible sharp teeth and her being a thinly concealed racism metaphor add to her, but at least she doesn't look like one of the Skeksis anymore. Also, no overly horrific mouse transformation.

Trivia: -Originally, a 2000s adaptation would have been done by none other than Guillermo del Toro. Sadly, like a lot of his projects, this was scrapped, though he did sign on here as a producer.

-Apparently, one of the cast members was stabbed in the neck while fighting during production, causing a setback. Keep your tempers in check, folks.

Image Gallery

Seriously. Bring it home. For everyone's sake.
The most whimsical skinhead rally.

The best laid plans of mice and witches...
Look, this is the only truly scary frame, alright?