"Rip-Apart Van Winkle"

Films: Dinosaurus! (1960)

Alias: Tyrannosaurus Rex, Apatosaurus

Type: Ancient

Location: Jungle

Height/Weight: As big as large houses.

Affiliation: Good (Apatosaurus), Neutral (Tyrannosaurus Rex)

Summary: One passing theory of how the dinosaurs died out is the concept of extreme climate change. So the average filmmaker could see him or herself getting away with the idea that these beasts have been frozen in time for millions of years. Now we have the wake-up call of the century...or decade. Less pretentious.

History: Somewhere near an island in the Caribbean, two large intact bodies of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and an Apatosaurus were uncovered in the sea. There was also a caveman, but he's not important here. That stormy night, a lightning strike hits the both of them, causing them to wake up instead of, you know, be deader than dead. The Apatosaurus leisurely befriended a beleaguered boy, while the Tyrannosaurus went on a bloody rampage in this strange and new land.

Notable Kills: The Tyrannosaurus stomps a bus filled with people. Had there been no rating system in practice, the sight would look like someone crushing a jar of strawberry jam.

Final Fate: The Apatosaurus is fatally chased into a pit of quicksand by the Tyrannosaurus, who is later smacked off a cliff and into the sea by construction equipment. Somehow, the ending implies he might have survived that.

Powers/Abilities: The dinosaurs have incredibly resistant hides.

Weakness: Something of signifigant brute force.

Scariness Factor: 2.5-The dinos look horribly dated, have choppy stop-motion, and their scuffle mostly looks like a wimpy slap-fight between flimsy puppets. That Tyrannosaurus does have an intimidating roar, though.

Trivia: -The most well-preserved dinosaur remains were of a Nodosaur found in Canada in 2017. Almost none of the fossil’s armor and even its potential color-scheme was left to the imagination.

-This film was filmed on St. Croix, one of the US Virgin Islands.

Image Gallery

Nope. Still a one-sided battle.

I'll take the demonic dinosaurs over the incoming caveman sex.

How could anyone hate a face like that?

Take a wild guess who would win in a fight.

The first Jurassic Park ride went horribly wrong.

"Could be worse. I could be done in by a forklift."

The unquestioned might of Tyrannosaurus Rex! Disclaimer: Not shown in the film proper.

Guns are just as effective against these things as tissue paper is to scissors.

Titanosaurus' lesser known cousin.

Still one-sided.