"Wackos on Wheels"

Films: The Undertaker and His Pals (1966)

Alias: Mort the Undertaker, Doc, Spike

Type: Natural

Location: Civilized Area

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: If you want to boost your business, just please for the love of God don't go into the realm of the unethical. All it'll do is alarm the authorities, and you'll end up burning more bridges than it's worth.

History: Mort was a shady undertaker who liked to overprice his services at the Shady Rest Funeral Parlor. Spike and Doc were two looneys working at a restaurant known as the Greasy Spoon. When put together, these crooks could boost their business in a horrible way. Dressed in monochromatic biker outfits, Doc and Spike would grind up victims into burger meat while Mort would arrange funerals for what remained.

Notable Kills: Grinding. People. Into. Burger meat. There's also a lady getting shanked on a fence.

Final Fate: Upon being trailed by the authorities, everything falls apart. Trust runs out, Spike gets dumped into acid by his associates, Doc gets smashed by a truck while on his bike, and Mort gets a letter opener in his brain by one of his pursuers.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 4-One crazy selfish psycho is bad enough, but now there's three working together, and they'll make sure your death is visceral and horrible to look at.

Trivia: -This film was edited to such an extent to not offend almost every theater in the U.S. that an unedited version cannot be found.

-Speaking of murderous trios, there is something known as Macdonald triad, which dictates traits/aspects of a potential madman. They are arson, cruelty to animals, and enuresis (unintendedly wetting the bed).

Image Gallery

What a way to screw up your life.

"I'm getting the slight impression this may be ridiculous."
It's still not. It really isn't.

"Official Undertaker business."
And thus, our site got an R-rating.

Pray you don't see this on your cul-de-sac.