"The Great Fish Fable"

Films: Jaws (1975), Jaws 2 (1978), Jaws 3D (1983), Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

Alias: Bruce

Type: Natural

Location: Ocean

Height/Weight: Twice that of average Great Whites.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: If you aren't hearing that one track in your head right now, we're going to assume that you're very new here. Yup, here's the standard everyone holds most killer animal movies to, even if the legacy is a bit of a dud.

History: Amity Island, a place of homeliness, patriotism, and great beach resorts. It's all fine and dandy...until the giant great white arrived. From there, the PR nightmare began, and both hunter and hunted came to the beaches to come face-to-face with the apex predator of the sea. But this is hardly the only great white lurking in the endless waters...

Notable Kills: Ah, the POV kills of this thing. Never gets old. And then there's the diver slowly crushed to death from the third shark's maw. We swee it all from his P.O.V, as well.

Final Fate: The first shark is blown up after a barrel in its mouth gets shot. The next one is engulfed in flames and electricity. The next next one is killed by a grenade. And finally, the last shark is impaled by a ship before it EXPLODES (or bleeds to death, as in the original ending)!

Powers/Abilities: None

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 4-All sharks have one thing in common: their ability to ambush and kill so many over the course of a few days. Granted, they get faker and faker with each film, but they're the reason so many are afraid to go back into the water...

Trivia: -The original film was based not only on the Peter Benchley novel of the same name, but the 1916 New Jersey Shore shark attacks, in which four people were killed over the course of 12 days by sharks. No one knows exactly what shark did it, but the great white and the bull shark are prime suspects.

-The film was, frankly, a nightmare to make. Seasickness, petty grudges, tax problems, an unwieldly mechanical shark, all of that and more contributed quite possibly the most tumultuous big-budget production. But unlike something like "Heaven's Gate", the end result was a success, and the first summer blockbuster in history.

Image Gallery

Seriously, you will REGRET reading the book.

With this poster in mind, stop calling the shark "Jaws".

Gross. Clean your teeth.

Mood whiplash at its finest.

Hatred shall rise again, alongside savagery.

No. It's called a little something called "Gimmick".

They look like they had more fun than actual audiences of that film.

Little shark, run back home! Your life is on the line!

This time, it's cheap.

Wrong target, but a guy's gotta eat.
Apt metaphor, really. Don't see it? Really think about it now.

Great. Bruce is drunk again.


Get ready for a body slam, girl.

Man. The original draft for Two-Headed Shark Attack was off-putting.

That beard was bad luck, I tell you!

It certainly won't be attracting fans anytime soon.

Even Spielberg would want his original clunky prop back now.

BTW...he lives through this. Not even joking.
The sanity of anyone who barely survives the shark is as shown.

You're REALLY gonna need a bigger boat.

Sharks will eat anything, but that REALLY was a bad idea, Bruce.

And then they kissed.

The origin of Two-Fin.

Cut like the expectations of fans.

"I bet I can fit you in my entire mouth!" Yeah, that's what happens.

Insert cartoonish roar here.
Every gas fume tells a story.

"Whoops! Slipped into oblivion!"

Megalodon? Is that you?

Kinda like dog's eyes, amirite, Quint?

You forgot the scene where the franchise takes vengeance on that Orca movie a few years back.

Don't forget the scene of the audience burning the theatre in rage.

Even more reason to think this film was done while high.

Idiots. You just fell into the monster's turf. Are you the guys who okayed this film?

....Ugh, fine. Franchise is over. We hope.