"The Landing of John Landis"

Films: Schlock (1973)

Alias: Banana Monster

Type: Ancient

Location: Underground/Desert/Civilized area

Height/Weight: That of an average human.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: What if King Kong was smaller, dumber, and had a penchant for goofy antics? Well, now you have a creature literally named after a word for "worthless crap".

History: Somewhere in the Southern Californian countryside, an underground cavern has housed an ancient ape man known as the Schlockthropus. This savage beast is capable of both destroying entire crowds of people bare-handed and going around them unnoticed. For you see, a lot of people in this film are rather stupid.

Notable Kills: So many people are killed in his first outing that a contest is held to decide just how many people are in just one body bag at the place!

Final Fate: After dilly-dallying at gas stations, blind girl homes, a movie theater, and a dance, the Schlockthropus is shot to holy Hell by authorities. But wait, someone recovered a little baby ape man recently! Coming soon: Son of Schlock!

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 3.5-Okay, goofy antics aside, this guy can kill so many with relative ease. It's a relief that there's a metric ton of humor here, otherwise this would feel like a most grand horror.

Trivia: -This was the first film to be directed by John Landis. He even played as the Schlockthropus.

-The beast's name is most likely derived from, aside from the word Schlock, the name of Sahelanthropus, an ancient ancestor of man.

Image Gallery

Wait until Twilight comes out. Then, we can really cover our eyes.
Your arrogance knows no bounds, movie.
It really isn't.