"Bad terrible film movie"

Films: Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985)

Alias: None

Type: Unknown, possibly Natural

Location: Forest

Height/Weight: That of small bunnies.

Affiliation: Neutral

Summary: Hey, don't you just love movies where the cast just meanders around a deserted area for hours and hours and hours? No? TOO BAD! Because at the end of this tunnel, we've got killer tiki doll things! What could be better than that?!

History: Some shmucks got stranded on a deserted island. That's bad enough. But soon, the forest proved to be more than it seemed, with its deadly environmental hazards and the mysterious Beast Creatures, a swarm of small wooden doll-like beings who loved nothing more than to mob their prey and take chunks out of them.

Notable Kills: It's bad when the inexplicable acidic body of water does more horrific damage than these things.

Final Fate: Very few survive to get to the boat out of here, but the ones who do manage to shrug off the Beast Creatures for long enough to get to safety.

Powers/Abilities: None

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 2-These things are something of a joke. Their run cycle brings to mind a child’s exploits with action figures, and their small size makes them look like punks. Still, they assault you in numbers, and looks and sounds rather painful.

Trivia: -Is there anything signifigant about this film?

-Nope. Not at all.

Image Gallery

Sad thing is...they can and will follow through on all of this.

Just cut your losses already.


Look at him. Look at him and laugh.
Anybody got a mallet for all these cretins?

"All hail Chris Brown! Chris Brown is life!"