"Before Mac and Me..."

Films: Nukie (1987)

Alias: None

Type: Alien

Location: Desert/Forest/Civilized area

Height/Weight: That of average toddlers.

Affiliation: Good

Summary: Something we really don't quite understand is why the aliens we should avoid always look cool and neat while the good ones turn out either generic and/or uneasy on the eyes most of the time. Nukie and his ilk are the apotheosis of that problem, being thoroughly annoying and unpleasant at the same time. And we still have to side with them. Dang.

History: Nukie and Miko were two interstellar brothers travelling the galaxy looking for adventure. Unfortunately, they got pulled into Earth's atmosphere, and while Miko crashed into America to be captured by the government, Nukie went into Africa. And for the next hour and a half, insanity ensues as Nukie tries to reestablish contact with Miko while pissing off just about everyone and everything (audience included), while Miko escapes capture to befriend an A.I. named EDDI.

Notable Kills: None.

Final Fate: To spare you the details, Nukie and Miko do indeed reunite, and they beam back to space, with the inexplicable talking chimp named Charlie (well, we TRIED sparing you the details) joining them for cosmic enlightenment.

Powers/Abilities: Can shift into beings of pure light, as well as turn invisible, use telekinesis, freeze assailants, speak telepathically, and whatever else the script wants them to do.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 0.5-These aliens are one of the least likeable things to come out of space. Looking like snot-nosed emancipated chimps from Hell, all they can do is drill their awful voice acting into our ears and just generally waste our time. We know E.T. is a pacifist, but we wouldn’t be surprised if he didn't lift a finger (ha, get it?) to let them live.

Trivia: -There is actually a copy of this film on display at the International Friendship Exhibition in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Yes, this film's been immortalized. Honestly, this kind of film has no place in a "friendship exhibition". If anything, all it could hypothetically do is burn bridges instead of mend them.

-This film was also known as "Nukie...In Search of America".

Image Gallery

I certainly WISH this was off my world.
Please, your mere presense is contagious. No need for the tubes.
Move your mouth, please.
Come back and we call in the Space Marines on account of "heresy".