“Not our proudest moment”

Films: The Creeps (1997)

Alias: Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, the Werewolf, the Mummy

Type: Mystical

Location: Haunted home

Height/Weight: Half that of average humans.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: We don't even know why we're doing this one. Oh wait, it's because we have no choice whatsoever but to document every monster movie we can. Well, while we can, we'd like to say that dwarfism is not an instant basis for a movie-long joke.

History: Somewhere in a secluded lab at the Rare Books library, the maniacal Dr. Winston Berber has developed "the Archetype Inducer", which brings the villains of ancient manuscripts to life. He plans on using it to bring forth classic monsters to do his bidding. However, due to a lack of a 20-25 year old female virgin as a sacrifice, the monsters come out with a severe case of dwarfism, much to Dracula's ire. Now, they must procure that virgin to attain full power.

Notable Kills: None.

Final Fate: After Berber is dragged though a portal by a previous victim-turned-Viking archetype (long story), the virgin helps the monsters realize that they will die in the real world, but live on forever if they stay in the manuscripts. Dracula congratulates her for her wisdom, and playfully states that he will live on in everyone's nightmares.

Powers/Abilities: Dracula can electrocute things, and convert people if he wants to.

Weakness: Anything conventional, as well as standart vampire weaknesses for Dracula.

Scariness Factor: 2-We're sorry, but we just can't take these guys seriously. They’re too short for that, and their whole existence is all because some idiot thought that putting these people in Halloween costumes would be funny. Also, Dracula's intelligent enough to know a diplomatically sound solution when he sees one.

Trivia: -This film was also known as "Deformed Monsters".

-Dracula was played by Phil Fondacaro, who has appeared in just about every film genre there is. Just don't remind him of that time he played Greaser Greg in "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie".

Image Gallery

Angry that this film ever existed.

Better hope Frank here doesn't pull a 'Monster Squad' on you, Dracula.

Thankfully, they're none of Imhotep's type.

We all might want to look away.

...this movie was weird. We'll give it that.