“Hobblin' Goblins”

Films: Troll 2 (1990)

Alias: Various, notably Creedence Leonore Gielgud

Type: Mystical

Location: Forest/Civilized Area

Height/Weight: Half that of average humans.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: Hooooo boy, this film. This film right here. What’s there to say that hasn't? Well, a lot actually. Like what actually happens in this tale of vegetarians turned horrific?

History: Yes, "Nilbog" spelled backwards is "Goblin" spelled backwards. Somehow, a civilization of goblins thought that would fly over our heads. The point is that they're luring people over to eat...but not in the way you're thinking. Truth is, they only eat plants! Bad news is that they make us eat a bizarre substance that turns us into a sort of cream of wheat-like slurry for them to chow down on.

Notable Kills: They turned her into plant matter...they're eating her...and then they're gonna eat me...oh my GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!

Final Fate: At first, it seems that the visiting boy here destroyed Creedence, and therefore left the goblins without a leader to guide them. Then it's revealed that the Goblins have started to ship their poisoned food to other places...

Powers/Abilities: Are apparently given power by a stone found from Stonehenge.

Weakness: If the stone is defiled by a person who just ate meat, the leader goblin will perish forever.

Scariness Factor: 3-For such a bad film, the goblins are a bit disturbing in both appearance and motive. How many monsters do you know that eat vegetables by making you into one? Also, while their costumes can appear cheap, you have to admit that some look absolutely manic.

Trivia: -Originally, this film was more fittingly known as "Goblins", and was made as a means for the director's wife to vent her frustration over most of her friends becoming vegans. What followed was a production filled with weed, people who could barely speak English, and the director called his whole cast the Italian phrase for useless actors (dogs) when they accused him of forcing them to adhere to his written-by-the-seat-of-his-pants script.

-The lead kid star of this film, Michael Stephenson, would later go on to direct an entire documentary about it. It was appropriately called "Best Worst Movie".

Image Gallery

A film with such a reputation, it can only be represented by the mockery it gets.

Police investigation of a film that should not be.

Really, here, you have no choice but to be eaten.

Knock her head off already.
Trust me. Our favorite troll is nowhere to be seen. Sigh.

"Not another screening! NOOOOOO!"

"This vegan diet was a mistake...HUUURK!"

Her reaction puts it in perspective.

She sees a simple cucumber and she goes bug-eyed.
A valley that needs to be burned to the ground now.

Clean your mouth, already!