“It's free real estate”

Films: The People Under the Stairs (1991)

Alias: Daddy and Mommy Robeson, the Kidnapped Children (like Alice and Roach)

Type: Natural

Location: Haunted home

Height/Weight: That of average humans.

Affiliation: Evil, Good (the Children)

Summary: Land lords can be the most evil creatures in existence, right next to executives. Always demanding money at the expense of those in need of a home. But did you know that the could be much, much worse...?

History: Local incestuous couple Daddy and Mommy Robeson used to sell overpriced coffins before they made it big in the real estate industry. Alas, anyone who dared to associate with them often found themselves screwed over, and worse, their children would go missing. Those children were kidnapped by the Robesons as forced sons and daughters driven to cannibalism by starvation. The Robeson house is a fortress of traps and death for any intruders, something poor Poindexter "Fool" Williams will soon find out during his quest to undo their greedy ways.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: Fool helps to rally the children against their abusive captors, with Mommy getting chased into a knife, and Daddy getting caught in an explosion that Fool sets off to destroy the house and release bucketloads of cash to the beleaguered neighborhood.

Powers/Abilities: None.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 4-What's worse than a couple that plans on sucking you dry of funds? One that takes your children, cuts out their tongue if they disobey, and indulges in a bit of cannibalism themselves. Needless to say, we're glad that they bit it so hard.

Trivia: -It is heavily implied that the Robesons were inspired by Mr. and Mrs. Reagan, mainly due to their avarice, slight bumbling stupidity, and a roaring hatred of the lower class. Wes Craven was always one to slip political undertones (or overtones) into his movies.

-In truth, the Robesons were inspired by a very real case from 1978 in Los Angeles, when two burglars accidentally discovered a house that had been keeping children imprisoned.

Image Gallery

In summary, a house better left burned to the ground.

I didn't know he was a fan of Pulp Fiction...wait.

Craven, what was going on behind the scenes, truly?

Reap what you sow...or, in this case, broke.

The most adorable broken mauler of man.
All this behind closed doors.

And the Darwin Award goes to...

Pretty chipper for somebody that went through...that.

Take your meds. If you bothered to buy any.