“Church blowers”

Films: Future War (1997)

Alias: The Master and Dominic

Type: Man-Made

Location: Civilized Area/Haunted home

Height/Weight: That of average humans.

Affiliation: Evil

Summary: It's the Terminator. No, it's Jurassic Park. No, it's just a really confused and clumsy movie.

History: A guy simply known as the Runaway has managed to escape the grim future of tyrannical cyborgs and into the present to start his life anew. He joins a local church, but unfortunately, the cyborg Master and his mook have also followed him. And they brought along a couple of Tyrannosaurs to track him down.

Notable Kills: Nothing special.

Final Fate: After killing the tyrannosaurs one by one, ending with blowing them all up, the Runaway confronts the Master and beats him to the point where he just cannot function anymore.

Powers/Abilities: An assortment of gadgets including collars for the dinosaurs and strength enhancers.

Weakness: Anything conventional.

Scariness Factor: 2-Aside from being easily taken out in a one-on-one fight, there's a lot of self-control required to not laugh at a man with a porn statche trying to be a cyborg. Also, those dinosaurs are horrendously stiff and fake-looking.

Trivia: -The original director's work on this film was reportedly so bad that damage control was required. It clearly didn't help.

-The original ending, no doubt a contributing factor to the damage control, had the nun that the Runaway joins abandon her training and become a fighter alongside him. This was seen as too disrespectful of the church.

Image Gallery

And a Tyrannosaurus out of time. What? We thought he was the main character.

"I came to pick up the eggs. Hello, human!"
Um...this has several implications.

"Cardboard boxes! We are now obligated to fight here!"
Always keep your dinosaurs on a leash.

They want us to believe this is epic, but I'm just worried for that man's dignity.
Another bit of advice? Don't give your dinosaurs crack.

"It's not a phase, mother."